


its twitter's fault

by Red_Hood_Bats



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Under the Red Hood, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Dick Grayson is a Ray of Sunshine, Everyone Is Gay, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jason Todd Whump, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Plot Twists, Twitter, Young Justice Season 1, dc twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 20,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22839205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Hood_Bats/pseuds/Red_Hood_Bats
Summary: A DC twitter story. "Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson In this world you can either yeet or be yeeted."Basically like the marvel twitter fics, but for DC *gasp* and with some plot *another gasp*Also on FF.net
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Wally West
Comments: 89
Kudos: 811





	1. who is wally?

**AN: So this was originally posted on Fanfic.net so I have like 17 chapters already posted, so I will be posting a bit more here to catch up to what I have there... Also there are different rules on Fanfic.net, hence the reason I've gone here, so like, there are quotes around the beginning and end of each chapter so that I can avoid having my story deleted there... It's weird, don't judge. Also the @ sign doesn't work there, so sorry if I misplaced one, I had to go back and put them all in.**

**"Robin @therealbatsbird**

That moment when @gottagofast trips the alarm and the whole mission goes haywire

**Robin @therealbatsbird**

So not feeling the aster

**What are @those**

@therealbatsbird are you really robin

**Robin @therealbatsbird**

@those Yeah, hold on, imma just verify myself real quick

**What are @those**

@therealbatsbird Wut

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

@those Yeah im the real robin

**Kid Flash @gottagofast**

@therealbatsbird it wasn't my fault

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

@gottagofast ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Kid Flash @gottagofast** ✓

@therealbatsbird no u

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

@therealbatsbird thanks for the verify bro

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

@gottagofast :)

* * *

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

Citizens of gotham, stay inside. Jokers loose.

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

@thedarknight Oh hell no

**Potato @head**

@thedarknight I swear I'm gonna move to canada because of that maniac

* * *

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

In this world you can either yeet or be yeeted

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

@OfficialDGrayson You can either hydrate or you can die-drate

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

@therealBGordon I'll die-drate

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

@OfficialDGrayson Dick no

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

@therealBGordon Dick yes

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

@OfficialDGrayson Dick no

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

@OfficialBWayne Dick no

**Yeeter @skeet**

@OfficialDGrayson @therealBGordon @OfficialBWayne This was wholesome

* * *

**G. Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Once again the justice league causing millions of dollars worth in damage. Watch The G. Gordon Godfrey show later tonight for more details

**Captain Marvel @mightiestmortal ✓**

@officialGodfrey at me next time b-

**Shazam Stan @thunderr**

@mightiestmortal OH MY GOSH YES WE STAN ONE (1) MAN

**Captain Marvel @mightiestmortal ✓**

@thunderr :)

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

@mightiestmortal I have accomplished my life's goal

**What are @those**

@officialGodfrey lmao get rekt

* * *

**West of south @wallman**

My fish? Is dead.

My soul? Is gone

Hotel? Trivago

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

@wallman rip sprinkles the fish 2019-2019

**West of south @wallman**

@OfficialDGrayson He was my friend faithful and just to me

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

wallman I stg if you start quoting shakespeare im jumping out a window

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon✓**

@OfficialDGrayson no

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

@wallman @therealBGordon nevermind, ive been forbidden

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

Who the f- is @wallman

**West of south @wallman**

@DickGStan I'm your father

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

@wallman @OfficialDGrayson … star wars… I approve, carry on

* * *

**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

Celebrity Dick Grayson talks with mysterious teen on twitter… click here for more

**G. Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Dick Grayson is seen talking with a twitter hooligan. More later on The G. Gordon Godfrey show.

**West of south @wallman**

@officialGodfrey @BuzzfeedOfficial And I oop-

* * *

**Green Arrow @aimforthesky ✓**

I swear @fastredblurr stop eating all the f- food for f- sake

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

@aimforthesky @fastredblurr FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

**Flash @fastredblurr ✓**

@aimforthesky you snooze you loose

**Green Arrow @aimforthesky ✓**

@fastredblurr I didn't snooze! I was about the take the food and then next thing I know. Its. not. There.

**Flash @fastredblurr ✓**

@aimforthesky I wonder how that happened.

* * *

**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

….hello

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

@ispeakfish OMG HI AQUALAD

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

@ispeakfish yessss we stan a fish

**What are @those**

@ispeakfish Holy shit all the heroes be coming in hot

**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

@thunderr @aroundmyroom those thank you for the support

**Shazam and Aqualad Responded @thunderr**

@ispeakfish *Faints*

**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

@thunderr please do not faint

**What are @those**

@ispeakfish what a soft bean

* * *

**Artemis @betterthanred ✓**

Kid Flash: Is water wet

Robin: no

Kid Flash: how do you know

Robin: if water was wet, fire would be dry and i dont wanna live in that kind of world

Kid Flash:

Robin:

Kid Flash: Water is not wet

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

@betterthanred stop exposing me

**Artemis @betterthanred ✓**

@gottagofast let me think about it

**Artemis @betterthanred ✓**

@gottagofast no

**What are @those**

@betterthanred @gottagofast the savagery, i-

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

@betterthanred Two can play this game

No one:

Artemis: Is a zebra just a horse in jail

Robin:

Me:

Artemis:

Robin: what the fu-

Artemis:

Artemis: well is it

Aqualad: what's a zebra

**Artemis @betterthanred ✓**

@gottagofast I was sleep deprived

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

@betterthanred sure

**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

@gottagofast @betterthanred I have discovered what a zebra is

**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

@gottagofast @betterthanred I am amazed

**What are @those**

@ispeakfish @gottagofast @betterthanred i? Love? This?" said wally. He then walked away wondering why he had just been asked to read a bunch of twitter pages.


	2. where the gay's at?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lil bit gay

" **Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

The more time I spend above the water, the more amazed I become (1/?)

**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

Everything is amazing but…. People judge each other on their religion, sexuality, and race, among other things? (2/?)

**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

This is just weird, why hate people because of something that they can't control? This concerns me. A lot. (3/3)

**What are @those**

_@ispeakfish_ we stan an ally

* * *

**Yeeter @skeet**

So supposedly one in ten people are gay. There are A LOT of people in the justice league. WHERE ARE YOU GAYYYSSS

**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

_@skeet_ I've been summoned?

**Yeeter @skeet**

_@ispeakfis_ h HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD YES I STAN

**What are @those**

_@ispeakfish_ I LOVE YOU

**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

_@those_ skeet 3

**Elongated Man @stretchhhh✓**

_@skeet_ someone asked for the gays? Pansexual at your service

**Yeeter @skeet**

_@stretchhhh_ i? Love? This? representatiON?

**Elongated Man @stretchhhh✓**

_@skeet_ Same?

**What are @those**

_@stretchhhh_ skeet *cries of joy*

* * *

**West of south @wallman**

When I was

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

A young boy

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

My father

**West of south @wallman**

Took me into the city

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

To see a bunch of idiots

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Jason i stg

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Then swear.

* * *

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Sticks and stones may break my bones but a crowbar would do it a lot faster

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

_@FoffImJason_ … I… r u ok

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

_@OfficialDGrayson_ thanks for asking I'm still a piece of garbage

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

_@FoffImJason_ I suddenly regret showing u vine

* * *

**Red Arrow @thebestarcher ✓**

Kid Flash: sksksks

Robin: and i oop

Kid Flash: SKSKSSK

Robin: anD I OOP

Me: this is why u guys have no friends.

**Wheat @thins**

_@thebestarcher_ Kid Flash and Robin are vsco girl!?

**Random Dude @wee689**

_@thebestarcher_ and I oop

**Standom @hashbrown**

_@gottagofast @therealbatsbird_ wth

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

_@thebestarcher_ i stg at me next time b-

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_@thebestarcher @gottagofast_ in our defence, we wanted to see how long it would take for Artemis to start shooting arrows at us…

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

_@thebestarcher @therealbatsbird_ it was around 25 second…

* * *

**Wheat @thins**

The justice league are great and all, but all the kid heroes provide me with the quality content I need in my life.

**Peter @piper**

_@thins_ the league is for the adults and the kids are for the gen z and millenials who want to die

**Captain Marvel @Shazam ✓**

_@thins_ @ _piper_ what a mood tbh

**Peter @piper**

_@Shazam_ i would like to redact my earlier statement and say that the kids plus _Shazam_ are for the gen z and millenials

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_@piper_ @ _Shazam_ the league can also be a mood at times

**Peter @piper**

_@therealbatsbird_ pray do tell

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_@piper_ well I'm not going to totally expose everyone because security, but i will say that Batman sometimes alksdjfpija

**Peter @piper**

_@therealbatsbird_ omg r u ded

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

_@piper_ Robin is fine.

**Peter @piper**

Can i get an F in chat for @ _therealbatsbird_

**Wheat @thins**

F

* * *

**G. Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Has the Dark Knight snapped and murdered is bright multicolored sidekick. Watch for more information on the G. Gordon Godfrey show.

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_@officialGodfrey_ call me a sidekick one more time, I dare you.

* * *

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Not to concern anyone or anything but like… why do we exist

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

_@OfficialDGrayson_ its not that big a deal

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

_@therealBGordon_ but like Babs, does anything really matter anymore? I've lost my purpose of life.

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

_@OfficialDGrayson_ I know something that may make you feel better but idk if ur gonna like it…

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

_@therealBGordon_ unless he comes back to life, i dont wanna hear it

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

_@OfficialDGrayson_ …

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

_@therealBGordon_ babs…

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

_@OfficialDGrayson_ its supernatural Dick, no one stays dead, its basically a right of passage.

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

_@therealBGordon_ ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

* * *

**What are @those**

That moment when you find out that both @ _OfficialDGrayson_ and @ _therealBGordon_ are Supernatural stand.

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

_@those_ real talk tho, DeStiEl

**What are @those**

_@therealBGordon_ exactly

* * *

**Artemis @betterthanred ✓**

You know when there are two people that are meant to be together but they are really stupid so they (½)

**Artemis @betterthanred ✓**

Keep dancing around it and they don't even realize that they like each other… cuz like wow, i'm surrounded by idiots… (2/2)

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

_@betterthanred_ yeah, like Miss Martian and Superboy were kinda idiotic at the beginning, but they're together now so like idk what you're talking about

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_@gottagofast_ @ _betterthanred_ yeah, but i guess at the beginning they didn't rlly realize that they liked each other?

**Artemis @betterthanred ✓**

_@gottagofast_ @ _therealbatsbird_ im surrounded by literal idiots" said Dick Grayson. As he was walking to the kitchen, he wondered how in the world the narrator had gotten into his house. He also wondered what Artemis meant by calling him and Wally idiots. The world may never know.


	3. buzzfeed who?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kid Flash and Robin make fun of G. Gordon Godfrey

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

The only thing about this family that I like is Alfred. He makes cookies

**Wheat @thins**

_FoffImJason_ whose Alfred. 

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

_thins_ hes the only thing keeping me sane in this idiotic family

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

_thins_ hes our butler/grandfather figure

**Wheat @thins**

That pure.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


**Zatanna @myhatismagic ✓**

Hello twitter.

**Peter @piper**

_Myhatismagic_ arent u zatara's daughter

**Zatanna @myhatismagic ✓**

_piper_ yes, unfortunately doctor fate has taken him over.

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_myhatismagic_ im sorry

* * *

  
  


**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

After this whole kids and parents separating universe things i have learned a lot about captain marvel. He’s my new favorite… 

**Captain Marvel @Shazam ✓**

_gottagofast_ :)

* * *

  
  


**Red Arrow @thebestarcher ✓**

Robin: Everyone get gruntled

Artemis: stop making up words i stg

KF: that one is actually a real word

Robin: …

Artemis: …

Robin: WHAT

KF: … its in the dictionary 

Artemis: oh hell no

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_Thebestarcher_ gruntled means pleased, satisfied, and contented… i am very gruntled by this discovery

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

_therealbatsbird_ practicing for SAT’s there buddy

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_Gottagofast_ no one can ruin this for me

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_Gottagofast_ the revolution is beggining

**Random Dude @wee689**

Lmao

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Should i get a tik tok

**Peter @piper**

_Gottagofast_ YES

**Standom @hashbrown**

_Gottagofast_ heroes on tik tok is not something that i thought i needed, but now i can’t get it out of my head.

**Yeeter @skeet**

_hashbrown piper_ can you imagine though, kid flash and robin doing the ride it song and being like, “when the villains stab you” or something

**Peter @piper**

_skeet_ yes. Yes. yessss i need that in my life so badlyyyy

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

As it has been requested…. (video of KF and Robin doing the spooky scary skeletons tik tok dance with m’gann and artemis in the background watching while Red Arrow is laying on the floor laughing)

  
  


**Peter @piper**

_gottagofast_ thank you so much i needed that in my lifeeeee

**Artemis @betterthanred ✓**

_gottagofast therealbatsbird_ both of you are so f-ing stupid its not even funny

**Red Arrow @thebestarcher ✓**

_betterthanred_ it actually is very funny idk what ur talking about

**Red Arrow @thebestarcher ✓**

_therealbatsbird gottagofast_ keep of the good work ladies

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_thebestarcher_ :3

* * *

  
  


**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

I have a new enemy 

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Hes a jerk 

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Im sorry 

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

R u tho

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Cuz u sure as hell dont seem like it.

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

KF i didnt actually think u were gonna drop ur croissant

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

But i did

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

And now ur paying the price

**Peter @piper**

What the actual f-

  
  


* * *

  
**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Two heroes have officially began a fight. How will these two heroes feud lead to the destruction of the world. Watch the G. Gordon Godfrey show to find out.

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Tbh this sounds a lot like clickbait to me

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_gottagofast_ lmao yeah, ‘watch to find out’ 

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

_therealbatsbird_ buzzfeed who?

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_gottagofast sksksksksk_

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

_therealbatsbird_ and i oop-

**Random Dude @wee689**

_therealbatsbird gottagofast_ im literally weezing

* * *

  
  


**Red Arrow @thebestarcher ✓**

Today I tried explaining something to KF and Robin...

Me: if you bite it and you die it’s poisonous, if it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

KF: what if it bites me and it dies?

Robin: that means you’re poisonous, learn to listen geezeeeee

KF: what if it bites itself and I die?

Me: that's voodoo

Robin: what if it bites me and someone else dies?

Me: thats correlation, not causation.

KF: what if we bite each other and neither of us die

Robin: that kialksdjf 

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_thebestarcher_ im gonna stop you right there pal

**Standom @hashbrown**

_therealbatsbird_ is he still alive

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_hashbrown_ unfortunately

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

_therealbatsbird_ you're grounded

**Flash @fastredblurr ✓**

_gottagofast_ so are you

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Dang it

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Laskjdfkasjdfkjasd;klf whyyyyyy

**Standom @hashbrown**

Lmao robin just keyboard smashed

**Yeeter @skeet**

_hashbrown_ skskskss hes viscskskskco 

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_skeet_ viscskskskco 

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

_skeet i cant thats actually hilarious omg_

**Yeeter @skeet**

_therealbatsbird_ tbh what a mood

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to only do the quotes thing on FF.net unless someone here tells me otherwise. The quotes can occasionally have hints for the next chapter but that doesn't start til' later, so let me know what y'all think.


	4. conspiracy theories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin evolves into Nightwing.

**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Has Robin been replaced? Watch The G. Gordon Godfrey show to find out more.

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Have I been what now?

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Well isn't this a little conspiracy theory we have going on

**Random Dude @wee689**

Whomst is nightwing

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Bludhavens one and only superhero at your service

* * *

  
  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

Ok y’all im gonna make this quick b4 the FBI barges in so lezza go (1/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

So robin was getting old ya know, like maybe 16, 17, 18 or whatever, idk his age. (2/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

So either robin or batman is like, “yo Imma just skeet skeet out” because like robin has low key outgrown robin (3/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

I mean personally when I think of robin its this teensy guy that saved me like 7 years ago when he first showed up (4/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

So robin goes off and becomes, guess who… NIGHTWING (5/)

**Standom @hashbrown**

Now whomst is this new little child that is parading around as robin? (6/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

Idk, i mean they’re bats. Basically the point is og robin is nightwing, and new robin is just some guy that batman found on the street. (7/7)

**Standom @hashbrown**

So update guys… my earlier thread has been deleted apparently… im not gonna repost it cuz I’d rather not die…..

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Not gonna lie, Batman and Robin are pretty cool

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

:)

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

*Feints*

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

(Video: dick is holding the camera and giggling. Jason looks slyly behind him. Bruce suddenly emerges from a hallway. He looks confused at the plotting that is taking place in front of him. Suddenly Jason yells YEET and jumps into a garbage can. Bruce blinks and then pinches his nose. Dick is laughing way too loudly. The video cuts out as Jason begins to say something)

**Wheat @thins**

I literally can’t. I need more of this content in my LIFEEEEE

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

You children concern me sometimes

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

:)

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

RT IF THE JOKER SUCKS

**14 M Retweets**

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

That’s more people than there are that live in Gotham….

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Honestly I don’t even think that people who don’t live in Gotham even understand how bad the Joker is.

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

They definitely don’t. I was in Central and someone didn’t even know what the Joker does.

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Wow.

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Hmmm. I wonder what you were doing in central….

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

…. 

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Lmao

**Yeeter @skeet**

Time out. How many of you are there?

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

How many of what? Humans? 7 billion

**Yeeter @skeet**

Of you bat superhero ppl

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Wouldn’t you like to know

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Four

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Robin stop being a potato

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

What if I want to be a potato

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Idk what to say to that…

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Are bird real

**Standom @hashbrown**

Yes… also what do u mean by this… im concerned

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

If… if I tape feathers to my arms and jump off the side of the manner will I fly?

**Standom @hashbrown**

No

**Standom @hashbrown**

Are u ok?

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

SOARING FLYINGGGG

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Jason go to sleep

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

You are my dad, you're my dad! Boogie woogie woogie

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

So Jason’s asleep now and Bruce isn’t on his phone right now so imma just say it. BRUCE WAS ALL LIKE OMG HE CALLED ME DAD. and now he’s really happy

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Anyways Alfred and I are just chillin as Bruce is all like OMGG

**Random Dude @wee689**

Wholesome 

* * *

  
  


**Miss Martian @hellom’gann ✓**

I got a haircut

**Standom @hashbrown**

As my username suggests… YESS WE STANNNNN

**Superboy @strongerthanu ✓**

<3

**Miss Martian @hellom’gann ✓**

:)

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

So Twittter is… interesting

**Yeeter @skeet**

Wait… another one???

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

Well kids are growing up, ya know, more kids come into the picture.

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

The circle of life

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

Lmao ily bro

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

Ily

**Bumblebee @Bzzz✓**

Bzz bzz mother fu

**Lagoon Boy @La’gaan✓**

How does this app work again

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

This is going to be…. interesting


	5. Can we get a RIP in chat?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadness but also hope??

**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

The Wayne family is mourning the loss of 13 year old Jason Todd today.

**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Tragedy has struck the Wayne family. The G. Gordon Godfrey show sends our condolences

**Wheat @thins**

Oh my lord. How. Why. Rest in peace Jason

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Yeeter @skeet**

So I’m fifty percent sure Robin is dead because he hasn't shown up in like a month and Batman is being violenter than usual

**Peter @piper**

I totally agree, but is violenter a word cuz… I really don’t think it is

**Yeeter @skeet**

Opps

* * *

  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

Yoooo I just saw Wonder Girl beat up this guy on the news and dangggg, that was interesting

**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

I’m always happy to beat up creeps :)

* * *

  
  


**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

A new speedster has been spotted in central city, read more about it HERE

* * *

  
  


**Impulse @imfast✓**

This is so crash

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Are you the new speedster? Also what is crash?

  
  


**Impulse @imfast✓**

Hell yeah Im the new speedster. And being here is crash OBVIOUSLY

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

But what does crash mean??

**Impulse @imfast✓**

It means SUPER COOL

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Huh, so your name is Impulse???

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Indeed it is

**Random Dude @wee689**

OH GOSH THERE'S MORE OF THEM

**Impulse @imfast✓**

lmao

* * *

  
  
  


**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

Click here to take the “Which Flash Am I” quiz

  
  


**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

I got Kid Flash 

**Impulse @imfast✓**

I got… Kid Flash too…

**Flash @fastredblurr ✓**

I got Impulse…

**West of south @wallman**

I don’t think that’s a very good quiz _BuzzfeedOfficial_

**West of south @wallman**

Also i got Flash. Hehehe

  
  


* * *

  
**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Another speedster hooligan has made himself known to the world. Find out more on the G. Gordon Godfrey show.

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Lmao. im a hooligan…. I can't. Hahahaha

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

I haven't seen Robin out in days. I’m really hoping he’s not dead, but it kinda seems like he is. 

**Peter @piper**

This is so sad… Alexa play lasdjf;kads

**What are @those**

…. Did _piper_ die

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Well. idk but he tried making a joke about Robins death so…

**Peter @piper**

Well. my computer randomly crashed. I am confused and frankly a bit scared ngl

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

That's what you get for messing with robin I guess

**What are @those**

Oml

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Artemis @betterthanred ✓**

RIP Supermartian

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

RIP

**Zatanna @myhatismagic ✓**

RIP

**Red Arrow @thebestarcher ✓**

… RIP

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

RIP  
  


**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

RIP

**Bumblebee @Bzzz✓**

RIP

**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

RIP

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

RIP

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

RIP

**Lagoon Boy @La’gaan✓**

…

**Artemis @betterthanred ✓**

OH NO NO NO NO U DO NOT

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

He better not be thinking what I think he is

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

I SWEAR LAGOON BOY DON’T YOU DO IT

**Miss Martian @hellom’gann ✓**

What's happening. What's he gonna do?

**Lagoon Boy @La’gaan✓**

Yeah? What am I gonna do :)

* * *

  
  
  
**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

After six month of no Robin sightings, Robin reappears but looking a bit different? What could this mean for Gotham? Find out more on the G. Gordon Godfrey show.

**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

Is there a new Robin? Or were they never dead?

**Peter @piper**

SO I think Robin is actually secretly immortal.

**Standom @hashbrown**

Can you hear all the conspiracy theories hatching? Cuz I can and I am very excited!

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Well this is gonna be interesting now isn’t it…

**Peter @piper**

OMG ITS REAL

**Peter @piper**

I REPEAT IT IS HAPPENING  
  


**Peter @piper**

I REPEAT

**Yeeter @skeet**

YESSSS

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

ROBIN IS BACK 

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

WE STAN

**Wheat @thins**

Yeah, but its def not the same robin :( 

**Wheat @thins**

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad there’s a Robin again but hear me out.

**Wheat @thins**

Last time, we were all pretty sure that Robin became Nightwing, so like he didn’t die or anything but (1/?)

**Wheat @thins**

This time tho, there is no new hero that looks mildly like the old robin appearing, so like is he dead? (2/?)

**Wheat @thins**

Furthermore batman was super violent for like 4 or 5 months after robins disappearance, so maybe he was like grieving or something? (3/?)

**Wheat @thins**

And im aware that this might get taken down cuz of the bats and all. But I just felt the need to say it cuz while (4/?)

**Wheat @thins**

We’re all super glad that there is a robin again, I think we have to remember that we lost one robin and idk, I just don’t wanna lose another. (5/5)

**Standom @hashbrown**

That’s actually true. 

**Standom @hashbrown**

As great as this is and all, there also was probably a lot of loss that happened leading up to it and we have to remember that.

**Standom @hashbrown**

Also I’m totally pro robin and all but like, old robin was just a kid and he’s dead

**Standom @hashbrown**

Like did he die in the line of duty or was it something else??

**Standom @hashbrown**

Cuz if it was in the line of duty, then I feel like it’s gonna make the adults think that kid heroes shouldn’t be a thing.

**Standom @hashbrown**

And that would really suck cuz I like seeing kids like me fighting for what they believe is right.

**Wheat @thins**

Exactly, like i'm really excited and all but I’m kinda nervous…

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


**Peter @piper**

ROBIN IS BACKKKKK

**Peter @piper**

YEEETTT

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

YEEEEEEEET

  
  
  



	6. don't tell bruce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TIK TOK

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

High key wanna get a tik tok ngl

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Yeah, I dont think that gonna turn out very well so… maybe lets NOT do that

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Definitely… ;) definitely not getting a tik tok

* * *

  
  


**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Hey guys, go follow @timmyD on tik tok… don’t tell bruce tho

* * *

  
  


**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Hey guys, bruce just fell down like 2 flights of stairs

**Standom @hashbrown**

Lmao what

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

I was like “ok I guess I’ll just go drink bleach” cuz u know gen z humour and he was like “TIM NO” and then slipped down the stairs

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Btw.. guys if anyone tells bruce about this account I will be de big ded and y’all wont get ur insider wayne commentary shtuff anymore soooo

**Standom @hashbrown**

Tbh that grammar and spelling is so bad, but someone it just makes me like this more.

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

I mean like mood tho??

* * *

  
  


**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

Two months after the Drakes death, it is official that Bruce Wayne has adopted Tim Drake

**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Does Bruce Wayne have an addiction to adopting children? Find out more on the G. Gordon Godfrey show later tonight.

* * *

  
  


**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Yooo guys

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

So like what if there was a Buzzfeed quiz for the kids that bruce has adopted. 

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Can someone like go and tell buzzfeed to do that, cuz like I can’t without getting caught so I mean…

**What are @those**

I gotchu bro

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

:)

* * *

**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

Which adopted Wayne kid are you

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

I got Tim

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Hahhahah

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Nvm I got grayson….

**West of south @wallman**

Lmao 

**West of south @wallman**

I got Jason :(

**Standom @hashbrown**

I got Jason also :( I miss that kid :((((((

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

:(

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Impulse @imfast✓**

*Tik tok video* the song is I can take your man if I want to

Lagoon Boy is seen flirting with Miss Martian at a distance. Impulse and Blue Beetle are behind the camera and are looking at them judgingly. The camera is turner to Superboy who is sulking in the corner. The camera turns back to Miss Martian and Lagoon Boy flirting. RIght when “lucky for you I dont want to” part is supposed to come on, someone says, I actually do want to. They kiss and superboy walks out.

  
  


**Wheat @thins**

Oh shit

**Peter @piper**

Teah tho??

**Random Dude @wee689**

Ngl feel kinda bad for Superboy

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

High key dont like Lagoon Boy

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

I kinda feel bad for Lagoon Boy getting the hate but like idk…

**What are @those**

Thats actually me whenever I try to express anything tho so like same.

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Lmao

**Superboy @strongerthanu ✓**

Impulse

**Superboy @strongerthanu ✓**

If I were u I’d start running

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Well its a good thing ur not me

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Oh shit

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Ls;dfkjas

**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

Well that was entertaining to watch

**Bumblebee @Bzzz✓**

Indeed it was

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Can we get a rip in chat for the newest speedster??

**Bumblebee @Bzzz✓**

Rip

**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

Rip

**Impulse @imfast✓**

I lived binches

**Impulse @imfast✓**

I a bad bench u cant kill me

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Bench?

**Impulse @imfast✓**

There are children on this app I’m not just about to curse

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

What a bean

**Impulse @imfast✓**

:)

* * *

  
  
  


**Yeeter @skeet**

So no ones gonna comment on the fact that Impulse has a Tik Tok??? Like no one?? At all??? Seriously???

**Peter @piper**

Yeah

**Peter @piper**

WAIT  
  


**Peter @piper**

HE HAS A TIK TOK  
  


**Peter @piper**

OH MY AHHHH

**Yeeter @skeet**

Oh mah gawsh that went right over my head

**Impulse @imfast✓**

I mean like maybe follow me tho?? Jkjk… Unless??

**Yeeter @skeet**

IM FOLLOWING AND U CANT STOP ME

**Peter @piper**

ME TOO IMMA FOLLOW

**Impulse @imfast✓**

And thats how u gain 25k followers in two minutes and have ur whole app crashes… kinda crash tho ngl…. See what i did there guys.

**Impulse @imfast✓**

No ok imma just head out

  
  
  
  



	7. can people please stop being ded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gen z and invasions

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

I hate gen z and millenials

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Ok boomer

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Ok boomer

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

I hate both of you

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Ok…

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Boome;askdfa

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Oh no

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Ive got a disease walking round through my neighborhood spreading all my fleas 

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Everybodies like 

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Wachu got

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Im like STD’s

**What are @those**

Oh gosh

**What are @those**

It honestly never occurred to me that Robin and Nightwing were Gen z oh lord, my brain is being mashed up. Oh goodness gracious.

* * *

  
  
  


**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Ok boomer

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Oh my gosh this whole ok boomer thing keeps getting better and better.

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Tbh i love this whole thing. Its so funny honestly.

* * *

  
  


**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

That aco taco moment when a bunch of aliens try to invade Earth

**Peter @piper**

I’m sorry what

**Peter @piper**

The reach aren’t doing anything wrong

**Peter @piper**

Oh 

**Peter @piper**

OH

**Peter @piper**

OHHHH OKK NEVERMIND

**Peter @piper**

I HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED OH LORDpkfjaeo cfjdsakf

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Oh shit

  
  


* * *

**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

An attempted alien invasion or a cover up. Find out more on the G. Gordon Godfrey show

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Ok boomer

  
  


* * *

  
  


**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

So aqualad isn't a traitor, Artemis isn’t dead, and we aren’t all gonna die? 

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Cool cool

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

kid flash is dead… my soul is too

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Wait wat

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

I MISS HIMMM ALREADYYYY

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

NOOOO

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

R U SERIOUS   
  


* * *

  
  


**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

There have been many rumours that Kid Flash has died. It is unclear. He is just MIA. NOT DEAD

* * *

  
  
  


**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

And people wonder why I say that life sucks

**Red Arrow @thebestarcher ✓**

Welp, that's more shit thats gonna make it on the news today I guess.

**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Who is the new superhero Arsenal? Find out more on the G. Gordon Godfrey show.

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

OK BOOMER

* * *

  
  


**Wheat @thins**

I know someone has pointed this out before but like… why does Godfrey always like plug himself at the end of all his tweets

**Wheat @thins**

Its kinda annoying ngl

**Standom @hashbrown**

He’s a boomer trying to be a gen z/ millennial youtuber

**Wheat @thins**

OML I CANT jalksd;fksdjfads

* * *

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Well isn’t this strange

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Huh


	8. ihatebatman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shenanigans... Batman is mad

**Wheat @thins**

It’s the two year anniversary of Jason Todd’s death… I miss him

**Wheat @thins**

And I didn’t even know him, but like, I miss him

**Yeeter @skeet**

I get that tho, like I miss the savagery

**Standom @hashbrown**

Same, he roasted so many people, and the amount of news coverage of him being a savage at galas were hilarious.

* * *

  
  


**A secret account @Jaytalley**

That aco taco moment when ur replaced less than six months later

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Oof thats rough man. What happened.

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

It’s a long story…

* * *

  
  


**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

I have just met a true savage

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Indeed u have

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

And modest too

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ikr

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

I- yeah, ok

* * *

  
  


**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

Is there another vigilante in the business? Click here for more

**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Another hooligan has joined the vigilante path of destruction. Watch the G. Gordon Godfrey show for more.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Hooligan? HOnEy iM PrObAbLy olDeR tHaN yOu

**Peter @piper**

I like this guy…

* * *

  
  
  


**Yeeter @skeet**

Time out is no one going to pay attention to this Red Hood guys username???

**What are @those**

What- oh shit 

**What are @those**

I didnt even realize

**Yeeter @skeet**

Ikr like is he still a good guy if he hates batman???

**What are @those**

I have no idea… like how do we know that he was even a good guy from the start like????

**Yeeter @skeet**

Salkdfjaksdfj

**Yeeter @skeet**

I am so scared for the amount of tea that is going to go down

**What are @those**

Lmao, same tho

* * *

  
  
  


**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

Red Hood is not a vigilante, he is a villain. Citizens of gotham, be careful if you see this murderer. *picture of Red Hood*

**What are @those**

Well shit

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ikr

**What are @those**

OH SHIT

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

WHY IS THIS GETTING MORE INTENSE   
  


**What are @those**

MOTHER- wait… ok batman explain i'm really not getting villainous vibes off this one

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

maybe its? because? im? not? a villain?

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

Red Hood is a villain. He kills people and is very violent. Do not engage if seen.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

ONE at me next time a hole

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

TWO just cause I unalive people doesnt mean Im a villain

**What are @those**

UNALIVE PEOPLE

**What are @those**

IM WEAZING 

**What are @those**

OH MY GOSH

**What are @those**

AHAHHAHA

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

:)

* * *

  
  
  


**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

So Im kinda confused

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Now hear me out on this one guys

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Ok so like Arsenal is supposd to be a good guy

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Now if Red Hood is supposedly a bad guy then way is arsenal hanging out with him

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

I thought Arsenal just said that he met Red Hood, not that he was hanging out with him?

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

*picture of Red Hood and Arsenal fighting together*

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

HUh…

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

So like is Arsenal a bad guy now

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Or like is Red Hood a good guy? 

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Im confused…

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Just to clear up any confusing I'm a good guy

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

I would like to repeat that Red Hood is a bad guy and should not be engaged with if spotted.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Blah blah blah

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

So im still confused but like Red Hood is low key either a savage or a gen z

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Or both

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

True true

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

WAIT 

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Didn't he like allude to being older than G. Gordon Godfrey tho???

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

WAIT WHAT 

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

“ **Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Hooligan? HOnEy iM PrObAbLy olDeR tHaN yOu”

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Wait was he being sarcastic or is he low key a grandpa

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I can help with that

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Im actually an immortal

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

I can't tell if he's being serious but either way… HOLY SHIT

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK GUYS WOWWW. So like ppl here actually guessed Jason was coming back???? On FF.net when I posted this chapter absolutely NO ONE guessed. Good job guys! :)


	9. more conspiracy theories?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> those conspiracy theories are no where near real. nope not at alllll

**Miss Martian @hellom’gann ✓**

*Picture of Miss Martian and Super Boy kissing*

**Standom @hashbrown**

TIME OUT 

**Standom @hashbrown**

WHEN DID THEY GET BACK TOGETHER????

**Peter @piper**

AHHHHHHHHHH

**What are @those**

OMG YESSS

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

LMAO they’ve been back together for like a year now

**What are @those**

WHAT  
  


**Peter @piper**

WHY ARE WE JUST HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

IDEC IM JUST HAPPY THAT THEY BACK TOGETHER YESSSSS

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

Lmao

* * *

  
  


**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Ok like fr tho, who is the most gen z superhero

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Cuz like guys

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Ive got some news for y’all

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

* video of Shazam laughing when someone talks about what people in 200 years will think of him. When asked why he is laugh he says, “Earth isn’t going to last that long”

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

So basically what i'm trying to say here is that Shazam is gen z and u cant change me mind

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Like some people were saying that hes threatening the Earth or something but I think he’s just like a part of or accustomed to gen z culture

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

WAIT NO

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

DUDE UR ACTUALLY TOTALLY RIGHT THO

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

I was once like crying because of this thing

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

SO i said ‘I wanna die’ in like a gen z way right

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

And SHazam responds with ‘same’

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Oh MY GOSH SHAZAM IS gen z confirmed

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

DEFINITELY

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

But like he looks older than a gen z tho??

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

True…

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Hmmm

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Well hes definitely a gen z but I’ll do some research and talk to some conspiracy theorists and if we get a conclusion imma tweet it….

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

Ok. i wish u the best of luck

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Thankss :)

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

First tho, I recommend @hashbrown as a conspiracy theorist, they’ve figured out a lot of Batfam stuff over the years

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Will do

* * *

  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

Well…. This has been an interesting project that @thunderr and I have been working on

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

OMG WHAT DID U GUYS FIND

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

We haven't found too much but we have three main theories

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

@hashbrown do u wanna say or do u want me to?

**Standom @hashbrown**

U say the first two ill say the third

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Kay

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Shazam is actually a robot that is controlled by a teenager, or alternatively a teenager in a suit that is shazam. While this may seem far fetched, the other one is even more. (1/?)

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

So evidence wise, we this one is mainly controlled by the fact that Shazam’s speech patterns are generally compliant with a teenager (2/?)

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Also by the fact that as we have established earlier, he mainly uses gen z humour. (3/?)

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Furthermore, this would be a pretty good disguise (4/4)

**Standom @hashbrown**

There is some more evidence for that theory, however we cannot say it as it could cause harm to an innocent person

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Yeah

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

So the second one is basically that Shazam is some kind of immortal soldier and he just lowkey reboots or something (1/?)

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Reboots or something every once in a while or maybe he just sticks with the nearest trends (2/?)

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

The evidence for the immortal part is pretty easy honestly. (3/?)

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Basically whenever he is attacked by something it doesn't affect him, unless it's magic, so maybe by magic logic?? He is somehow magically immortal (4/?)

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

The main part of that evidence tho is that he hasn’t aged since he first showed up like 6 years ago. Even Superman has changed a little bit since then, yet Shazam hasn’t changed at all.

**Standom @hashbrown**

Now for the third, final, and weirdest theory of them all. Shazam somehow transforms. (1/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

Now this is the MOST unlikely theory, but it also kinda weird. Basically Shazam is like a child and then he transforms into Shazam. (2/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

So Shazam is obviously one of the superheroes that has to do with magic, so he transforms using that magic. (3/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

Now the evidence for this you may ask? (4/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

If you watch Shazams speech patterns evolving it is quit the journey. 6 years ago he started out using word like “holy moly” and such, and over time his use of words has grown (5/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

Grown more mature. Possibly age 10 and now 16? Either way the patterns line up in terms of evolution. (6/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

Now how did this 10 year old gain the power of Shazam? Basically this mixes both of the first theory a bit. (7/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

Shazam is an immortal being that is somehow transferred from person to person, or is somehow an individual who just buffs up I guess? (8/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

Either way, last year we met Black Atom, now he looks a lot like Shazam, so basically what I’m saying is that the same thing that makes Shazam, Shazam makes Black Atom, Black Atom. (9/?)

**Standom @hashbrown**

So basically this theory means that Shazam is literally a CHILD. (10/11)

**Standom @hashbrown**

Lastly, I think the real question here is who the f- makes a child a superhero to fight another supervillain who is most likely a grown man (a whole other story) (11/11)

**Standom @hashbrown**

SO yeah those are our three theories, they’re all very far fetched, especially the last one, but yeah, they seem interesting.

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Yup…. so @cityhuman , what do you think

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

Well i am definitely convinced that Shazam is a teenager now, even more than I was before.

  
  
  



	10. tik tok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when superheroes are gen z-ers

  
  


**Impulse @imfast✓**

I was looking at you and you was looking at me 

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

And I was thinking

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

OH oWOH OWhoh oH oh

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

GO DEMARCUS GO DEMARCUS   
  


**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

I can’t quite wrap my head around this chaotic energy…

* * *

  
  


**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

HEY 

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Hi…

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

I THINK YOU'RE REALLY COOL

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

OMG WAIT HAHAHA

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

I LIKE YOU A LOT 

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

MAYBE WE CAN HANGOUT SOMETIME OR SOMETHING???

* * *

  
  


**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Ok guy hear me out here. 

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

The CE in ocean sounds like SH

The OU in about sounds like OW

The OLO in Colonel sounds like ER

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Now guys hear me out I swear I’m onto something here

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Does that mean CEOUOLO is pronounded SHOWER????

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

If so imma go take a ceouolo

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

What the fu

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

I mean I’m not wrong tho

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Yeah but what 

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

My brain- I-

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Just fell into a shit load of mud, I could really use a ceouolo

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ceouolo’s are great

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Definitely

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

WHAT THE FUalskdf;aksdf

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

OH SHIT HE DEAD   
  


**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Maybe he just went to take a ceouolo

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

And i oop-

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Sksksks

* * *

**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

RENEGADE RENEGADE

**Bumblebee @Bzzz✓**

UH OH STINKY

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

EGGS BACON GRITS

**Bumblebee @Bzzz✓**

NOT IN THIS HERO MINECRAFT SERVER

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

AHHHHHHH

**Bumblebee @Bzzz✓**

REVERSE UNO CARD

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Red skip a turn

**Bumblebee @Bzzz✓**

Red 6

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Blue 6

**Bumblebee @Bzzz✓**

Green 6

**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

Both of you are idiots

**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

I love it

* * *

  
  


**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

If you lock eyes with a guy on a bus station and he follows you around after no matter how far you run and the only other option is to kill him

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

Uhhh

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Then that aint a guy, its an enderman.

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

She had us in the first half

**What are @those**

The amount of gen Z ness that radiates off of the Young Justice team both hurts and heals my soul…

* * *

  
  


**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Can someone excplain to me why Tim is standing in front of his phone doing some weird dance while screaming Roxanne

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Because I am concerned

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

OH NO OH NO

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

DICKS DOING IT TOO   
  
**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

WHAT THE HELL DOES RENEGADE MEAN?!?!?!?

**Static @electricity✓**

Skskksksksskks

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

I’ve been told to reply to that with and I oop- ????

**Static @electricity✓**

OH MY GOSH   
  


**Static @electricity✓**

AHHHH

**Impulse @imfast✓**

OH KAYYYY GO OFFF BRUCE WAYNNENEEE   
  


**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

SKksksksks

* * *

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

I have a love hate relationship with NJ (I Live in Gotham duuhhh)

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Other than the shitty clowns that decide to pop their stupid f-ing heads up every five seconds

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Anyways my main issue is that it is November and WE JUST GOT FIVE FEET OF SNOW WHAT THE FU

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

ALSO IT IS TWO DAYS LATER FROMT HE FIVE FEET AND ALL THE SNOW HAS MELTED AND IT’S LIKE 50 DEGREES NOW WTF

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

I SWEAR NJ GET YOU'RE FU-ING ACT TOGETHER CUS I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS BULLSHIT

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Also i got ready from… my activities today and it’s 28 degrees when I leave the… my lair… and when I get back its like 50 like NJ MAKE UP YOUR MINDDDD I'M GETTING MADDD

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

I mean like you're not wrong tho….

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

I legit walked out this morning in a low-key blizzard and I come back and it’s like fall again...

**What are @those**

The batfam complaining about NJ weather is something I never knew I needed in this life...

  
  
  
  



	11. EYE

**Yeeter @skeet**

OK NGL GARFIELD FING LOGAN IS A QUEEN AND I LOVE HIM

**Impulse @imfast✓**

HUH

**Yeeter @skeet**

HES A SUPERSTAR AND I LOVE HIM

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Superstar… 

**Impulse @imfast✓**

GARFIELD THEODOR LOGAN SINCE WHEN R U ON TV U F-ING FAKE FRIEND

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

OH SHIT

**Impulse @imfast✓**

YES ITS OH SHIT

**Impulse @imfast✓**

BRUHHH U R FAMOUSSSS

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

HMMM 

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

Maybe I should get a TIk Tok cuz im famous

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Gar… TIk TOK is my domain i swear if u go anywhere near it

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

*video of gar on tik tok doing the “at first i was afraid i was petrified” dance*

**Impulse @imfast✓**

IM COMING FOR U 

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

HAHHAHAHA

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

OH SHIT

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

OH SHIIITTT

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

NOOOOOo

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

IMPULSE YOU FIENDDD

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

OHH SHUIwpoejkfj;dalsialspidjfp4h0pdmcanpiorqwie’[

**Yeeter @skeet**

UH

**Yeeter @skeet**

Is beast boy still alive???

**Impulse @imfast✓**

*video of impulse tickling gar*

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

THE PAINNN

**Yeeter @skeet**

LMAO THIS IS CRAZZYYY

**Yeeter @skeet**

I LOVE ThIS

* * *

  
  


**Granny Goodness @realGranny✓**

I’m so glad that everyone is enjoying gars new show <3

**Potato @head**

Awww, what a bean

**Standom @hashbrown**

PLOT TWIST, SHE'S SECRETLY EVIL

**Potato @head**

Mrs. queen of conspiracy, what is ur say, shall we believe she is evil

**Standom @hashbrown**

Nahhhh

**Standom @hashbrown**

Unless…

**Standom @hashbrown**

Nah, im joking, it would just be funny cuz her name is Granny GOODness

**Standom @hashbrown**

ALSO 

**Standom @hashbrown**

Ngl, im loving the whol Mrs. queen of conspiracy thingy

**Potato @head**

Lmao

**Potato @head**

Welp, the queen has spoken y’all

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

Lmao

* * *

  
  


**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Ngl, the red hood kinda reminds me of someone but I can’t quit place it

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Same tho

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

He seems ultra familiar

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Ikr, i just can’t figure out what it is…

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Wait

  
**A secret account @Jaytalley**

What is it?

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Could it be????

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Nah, thats high key impossible

**Standom @hashbrown**

Yoooo

**Standom @hashbrown**

What is ittt

**Peter @piper**

TELL US

**Standom @hashbrown**

TELL US

**Wheat @thins**

RETWEET IF YOU WANNA JOIN THE TELL US CHANT

**17.8 K retweets**

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

So like, he kinda reminds me of the second robin, but at the same time, that guy is dead and wayyy smaller than this Red Hood guy...

**Standom @hashbrown**

As much as I love that theory i gotta agree

**Standom @hashbrown**

  1. Robin is way smaller than him



**Standom @hashbrown**

  1. If Robin II were to have like faked his death, he wouldn't have grown that quickly



**Standom @hashbrown**

  1. Although robin II was more violent, he never killed people, and yo Red HOOD just like stabbedy stabbedy



**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

IKR

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Plus dont all robins like the weirdo who dresses up as a bat to fight ppl at night?

**Standom @hashbrown**

I was about to agree and then I saw who posted this and now idk what to do…

**Standom @hashbrown**

Like u kill ppl but u also r like a gen z/ an immortal god who roasts ppl

**Standom @hashbrown**

Like idk what to say rn

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Hhheheheh

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Real talk tho

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Red hood

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Hoody

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Hoodlum

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

The red bed 

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Blood of the red bed spread

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

My guy

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

R u the Robin II

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Nope

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

That guys dead

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Well i think hes dead

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Personally i like conspiracy theories

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Do u watch shane dawson

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Nah man i dont have eyes

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

I-

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Yeah those, i dont have them

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

RED HOOD HAS EYES   
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

SHUT UP U LINT LICKING SLIMEBALL   
  


**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Lint licking slimeball

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

i 

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

i dont know what to say to that

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

EYE EYE 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

What are those

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I wouldn't know 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I don't have them

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THE RED HOOD

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

And i oop

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

And eye oop

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Sksksksksks

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Lmao batman just asked me what and i oop and sksksksk means

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Not to be a buzzkill or anything but like, yall just b out here talking to a killer

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Tf is up yall 

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Like wut

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

And i oop

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Im not a killer im just an immortal vsco girl

**Peter @piper**

Lmao 

**Peter @piper**

I cant even rn

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Well i gtg take a ceouolo and wash the blood of my hands

**Peter @piper**

I

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ok guys i get it i don't have eyesss, no need to be mean about it

**Peter @piper**

And eye oop

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Sksksksksksks

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

This man gets it


	12. the outsiders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the outsiders get social media... YEET

Chapter 12:

**Wheat @thins**

So I kinda think there is a new batgirl...

**Wheat @thins**

Like Batgirl high key just became like an assassin

**Wheat @thins**

Like what

**Wheat @thins**

And she’s also like a lot smaller than she was before so im fifty percent sure its a new batgirl.

**Standom @hashbrown**

Yeah, like also tho, Batgirl hasn’t shown up like a while since Joker shot her so maybe he like killed her or severely injured her.

**Standom @hashbrown**

And now there is a new batgirl.

**Wheat @thins**

Well y’all miss conspiracy queen herself has confirmed it, there is a new batgirl.

**Standom @hashbrown**

LMAO

* * *

  
  
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Real talk my guys

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

So Joker kills Robin II

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

And then he shoots Batgirl 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

And Batman lets this guy just like constantly escape 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Like bruh what

**Potato @head**

Hold on this guy is kinda telling the truth

**Potato @head**

Bruh wait, i never realized that before.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

EXACTLY

* * *

  
  


**Impulse @imfast✓**

ME 

**Impulse @imfast✓**

GAY

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Help

**What are @those**

AHHHHHH

**Potato @head**

WHAT A TIME TO LIVE IN

**Potato @head**

ALSO SAME

**Impulse @imfast✓**

IDK WHAT TO DO 

**Impulse @imfast✓**

SHITTTT

* * *

  
  


**Peter @piper**

Ok quick queston? Like Impulse is now Kid Flash but he still uses the Impulse account, like I’m confluffled????

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Yeah, it just feels wrong to like totally go into KF’s shoes so like I’m half in half out yah know

**Peter @piper**

OOOO I seee

**Peter @piper**

Thanks.

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Np

  
  


* * *

**The Outsiders @outsidersofficial✓**

We have decided to get a twitter

**The Outsiders @outsidersofficial✓**

Ask us anything using #askoutsiders

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Do Geoforce, Halo, or Forager have twitter, everyone else does. #askoutsiders

**The Outsiders @outsidersofficial✓**

Not yet, but they might think about getting one soon.

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

How do y’all feel about Infinity Inc.? #askoutsiders

**The Outsiders @outsidersofficial✓**

We appreciate that our message has inspired others to stand up for what is right.

**Infinity Inc. @Infinityheroes**

:)

**Standom @hashbrown**

That smile high key concerns me ngl.

* * *

  
**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Is the Justice League falling apart? Find out more on the G. Gordon Godfrey show tonight.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Lmao

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

So batman and a few others leave the league and suddenly its falling apart sksksksk

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

What is this

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Aww shit

**Standom @hashbrown**

We cry for our fallen soldier

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

RIP TO ME Y’ALL

**Standom @hashbrown**

RIP

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

Y’all remember how I said Granny Goodness was fine

**Standom @hashbrown**

Yeah so like

**Standom @hashbrown**

Lets ignore that cuz after further research

**Standom @hashbrown**

SHE IS NOt FINE I REPEAT SHE IS F-ING EVIL

**What are @those**

What???

**Captain Marvel @Shazam ✓**

HMMM I HADN’T REALIZED

**Standom @hashbrown**

OH SHIT IS SHE ATTACKING Y’ALL   
  


**Captain Marvel @Shazam ✓**

YE;aksdfjaiwep cq9w]PA9IWEQ34M

**Standom @hashbrown**

Uhhhhh

* * *

  
**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Granny Goodness actually evil? Epic showdown in Markovia. And Prince Brion now KING Brion. Find out more in the G. Gordon Godfrey show tonight.

**Lex Luthor @realLuthor ✓**

How eventful.

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

F off u dirty piece of potato juice

**Impulse @imfast✓**

That's the best insult i’ve ever seen

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

:)   
  


* * *

  
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Well hit me with a crowbar and call me Shirley

**Potato @head**

Lmao what

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Idk, i'm just having an existential crisis ya feel me

**Potato @head**

Yeah, i get chu

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Like one second I’m reading Great Gatsby and next second ARSENAL RAMS THROUGH A F-ING WALL AND IM LIKE should i help him or keep reading

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Spoiler alert! He kept reading 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Meh, he was doing fine

**Potato @head**

Yo you like classics, sameee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so for the question as to why on FF.net it is Eduardo and Bart, it's because I looked into it more and like one person was saying that and the other was saying Bluepulse, and it was a whole mess, so I made a compromise and did one ship for one thing (not gonna spoil it) and another for that thing... Sorry that was confusing...


	13. well this is awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wheat @thins
> 
> RED HOOD JUST BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF BATMAN 
> 
> Wheat @thins
> 
> WAIT NO BATMAN IS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THE RED HOOD

  
  


**GCPD @officialgcpd✓**

An official statement of the fight between the Red Hood and members of the Batfam will be released soon.

* * *

  
  
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I done messed up

**Standom @hashbrown**

What did u do

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Bad things

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I regret the thing i did

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

And I know ur wondering what it is

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ill tell u what it is 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I did a baaaddd thing…

**Standom @hashbrown**

What happened

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

The bats know

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

They know shittttt

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

This aint it 

**Standom @hashbrown**

OOOOOO

* * *

  
  


**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

That ako taco moment when u think someone is big dead and then they arent big dead and they're actually trying to kill u

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

Bro, like whats happening

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Gotham things man

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Gotham things

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Well that turned out to be kinda bad ngl.

* * *

  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

So like does whatever happened have anything to do with what the GCPD tweeted at all??

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

No.

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Yes

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I will hurt u

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Supposedly u don’t hurt kids

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Too bad

**Standom @hashbrown**

I’m scared…

* * *

  
  


**Wheat @thins**

HOLY SHIT RED HOOD JUST SHOT ROBIN I REPEAT RED HOOD SHOT ROBIN

**Wheat @thins**

OH MY AHHHHH

**Wheat @thins**

RED HOOD JUST BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF BATMAN 

**Wheat @thins**

WAIT NO BATMAN IS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THE RED HOOD

**Wheat @thins**

OK RED HOOD IS DEFINITELY A GEN Z

**Wheat @thins**

He just threw his helmet at Batman and Batman caught it and the helmed f-ing exploded

**Wheat @thins**

Like what a gen z move to be carrying a literal bomb on your head.

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

BROOO WHATS HAPPENING NOWW

**Wheat @thins**

Red Hood got away and Batman is carrying Robin to the Batmobile.

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

YOOOO

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

TEAAAA

**Wheat @thins**

Indeed

**Potato @head**

Wait but did u just see the red hoods face?

**Wheat @thins**

No, he had a domino mask under it

**Wheat @thins**

Hes really extra lololol

**Potato @head**

Damnnn

**Potato @head**

Wait so like red hood is a bad bad guy then cuz he just shot robin

* * *

  
  


**DM:**

**Nightwing to Red Hood**

Nightwing: Robin?

Red Hood: fu-

Nightwing: You're alive where are you???

Nightwing: Robin

Nightwing: You there

Nightwing: Hello?

Red Hood: what do u want dick head

Nightwing: I want to make sure you're ok

Red Hood: huh that’s strange considering u never cared when I was alive

Nightwing: I’m sorry

Nightwing: Jaybird

Nightwing: I was a shitty brother

Nightwing: I know that, just I miss u

Nightwing: I miss the kid who cared so much about others and read books and was a literal nerd.

Red Hood: u wouldn’t even know that shit if Alfie hadn’t told u

Red Hood: and just because I kill people and would very much like to murder B and the replacement doesn’t mean that I don’t like books

Red Hood: also I’m not a nerd you asshole, I’m and INTELLECTUAL, there is a difference.

Nightwing: Does this mean u will talk to me

Red Hood: no

Red Hood: meet me in Crime Alley behind stella’s bakery

Nightwing: I thought Stella’s bakery was an illegal front

Red Hood: oh it is, but Stella is an absolute sweetheart and if u hurt her I will not even try to stop myself from chopping off ur head and delivering it to B.

* * *

  
  


**What are @those**

Anyone wanna tell me why Red Hood and Nightwing are high key fighting but also kinda being friendly-ish… anyone? No ok...   
  



	14. of cults and redwing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeeter @skeet
> 
> Nightwing come get you're husband.

Chapter 14:

**Green Arrow @aimforthesky ✓**

Who pissed in Batman’s cereal.

**Elongated Man @stretchhhh✓**

Teaaaa

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Lmao

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Trouble in the league who would have guessed

**Green Arrow @aimforthesky ✓**

Arsenal

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Traffic light

**Impulse @imfast✓**

BURNNNNNN

  
  


* * *

**G. Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Major showdown between Batman and the Red Hood happens in the middle of Gotham. Find out more on the G. Gordon Godfrey show.

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Brooo stop plugging yourself at the end of all ur tweetsss

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Lmao go off timmy

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Dick don’t encourage your brother and Tim do not go off

**Oliver Queen @OfficialOQueen✓**

Who pissed in Bruce Wayne’s cereal.

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

F off

**Potato @head**

OH SHIT ITS A SHOWDOWN BETWEEN BILLIONAIRES AHHH

**Lex Luthor @realLuthor ✓**

Absolutely immature

**Potato @head**

No one likes u 

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

Go back to the sewer u crawled out of

**Yeeter @skeet**

AbSoLuTeLy ImMaTuRe

**Yeeter @skeet**

Says the guy who is constantly acting like a five year old attempting to gain all their parents attention for superman.

**Standom @hashbrown**

OH SHIT Yeeter skeet popped offf

* * *

  
  


**Peter @piper**

So uh Red Hood highkey was about to shoot at Robin but then Nightwing stepped in the way and was like “nah” and Red Hood legitimately said and I quote, “your funeral idiot” and then shot him and then Nightwing was all like “love you too.” like bruh what the hell.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Yes. 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

It’s true, Nightwing and I are having an affair and Robin is the offspring of us not being… Safe

**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

Is RedWing a new couple to look out for and is Robin the secret child of the two. Click  here for more.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Bruh. What do you mean saying it’s questionable. 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Are you doubting my undying love for NIGHTWING?!?!?!

**Bart Allen @hrrrrgayyyy**

I can not believe I am living through this right now…

**Bart Allen @hrrrrgayyyy**

I love it.

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

I would like to put it out there that I am not dating the Red Hood nor is Robin my child.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

You can’t just throw Robin on me after the divorce.

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

What the actual f-

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

This is too fun

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

And also true

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Right arsenal

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Definitely. I am the kids godfather.

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

This is the stupidest thing ever.

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

…

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

I love it

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

IM BEING ADOPTED GUYSSS   
  


**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

ROBIN NO

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

ROBIN YES   
  


**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

ROBIN NO

**Impulse @imfast✓**

ROBIN YES   
  


**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

Robin.

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

no.

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Dang it.

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Isn’t it weird how everything is bat-this bat-that

**Standom @hashbrown**

Please explain

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Batmobile. Batcomputer. Bataoisdfja kedkavmers

**Standom @hashbrown**

Uhhh

**Potato @head**

o h n o he dead.

* * *

**Yeeter @skeet**

Guys.

**Yeeter @skeet**

I’m not ok.

**Yeeter @skeet**

*video of Robin fighting Poison Ivy. Robin abruptly stops and then hands Ivy a paper and asks her to read it. “I am the Lorax, I speak for the tree…”* 

**Yeeter @skeet**

I can die happy now.

  
  


* * *

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Hey everyone, your friendly neighborhood Red Hood here offering free advice.

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

I would like to advise that no one listens to him.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Would. Not should batsy.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Now as I was saying.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Advice on cults.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Personally I find that while leading cults gets you more money being a follower is more fun. 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Hmmmm

**Impulse @imfast✓**

So what I’m hearing is that I should def joing a cult and not lead it cuz its funner?

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Yup.

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Got it.

* * *

  
  
  


**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Aaaaaah

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

I’ve got sooo many issues that I don’t know how to solve

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Whatever will i do.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Why IM GLAD U ASKED

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Water solves all our problems

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Wanna lose weight?

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Drink water

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Get clear skin

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Drink water

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Tired of someone

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Drown them in water.

**Yeeter @skeet**

What the fu-

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Go away. We’re drinking our problems avaywk;la

**Yeeter @skeet**

I-

**Yeeter @skeet**

Nightwing come get you're husband.

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

I- 

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Hes not even

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

I quit

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

lol


	15. wedding, memes, and cas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dont cry at the end

**Impulse @imfast✓**

I’m on a mission with Robin 

**Impulse @imfast✓**

And like 

**Impulse @imfast✓**

He just punched this guy in the face and screamed vibe check

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Like lmao

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Same

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Guess that guy really wasn’t giving off the good vibes

* * *

  
  


**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

Impulse: when I get murdered can you make sure I’m an unsolved case

El Dorado: w h a t

Impulse: I wanna be on buzz feed unsolved

Blue Beetle: maybe we should focus on the “when I get murdered” part…

**JUSTICE @yeetiamcool**

Lmao

**JUSTICE @yeetiamcool**

This is my only form of entertainment

* * *

  
  


**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

GUYSSS

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

YOOO

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

I WANNA CRY TEARS OF LITERAL JOY RNNN

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

YOOOO

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

MISS MARTIAN AND SUPERBOY ARE ENGAGED

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

BRUHHHHH

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

CONGRAGULATIONSSS #supermartian

**What are @those**

HOLY SHITTT #supermartian

**Yeeter @skeet**

We stannnn #supermartian

**Bumblebee @Bzzz✓**

Congrats lovelys #supermartian

Trending:

#supermartian

  
#redhood

  
#vibecheck

* * *

  
  


**What are @those**

So uhhh

**What are @those**

Red Hood and Nightwing are casually sitting in the 24 hour diner that I’m using for studying for midterms

**What are @those**

And like they’re just ya know drinking coffee casually

**What are @those**

I’m kinda concerned ngl

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Lmao same 

**What are @those**

I

**What are @those**

I don’t know what to say to that…

* * *

  
  


**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Y’all know that area 51 rade that was happening

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Yeah

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

That was the shit

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

I miss shit like that :(

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Yeah so like

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Why was that a thing

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Like superman’s a person

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

We already knew that aliens existed

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Soooo

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Why exactly were we planning on raiding area 51 

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Like I’m totally into it but what was the purpose

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Huh

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Good question

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Hashbrown u got anything>

**Standom @hashbrown**

Nope

**Standom @hashbrown**

I think maybe it was just cuz none of us trust the government 

**Standom @hashbrown**

And after all 

**Standom @hashbrown**

tHeY cAnT sToP uS aLl

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Lmao

* * *

  
  


**Cassandra Cain @yaycas✓**

Hello

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

HI CASS

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

YAYYYY 

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Hiii Casss

**Cassandra Cain @yaycas✓**

Hello brothers

**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Bruce Wayne is officially adicted to adopting children. Find out more on the G. Gordon Godfrey show.

**Cassandra Cain @yaycas✓**

:(

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

YOU MADE MY SISTER SAD

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

FIGHT ME

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

Ahhhh

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

We stan

**CASS CAIN @westancass**

YES FIGHT FOR CASS

**CASSANDRA CAIN. @westancass**

I LOVE HER   
  


* * *

  
  


**Meghan Mortz @himegan**

Before

**Meghan Mortz-Kent @himegan**

After

**Conner Kent @kentconner**

<3

**Meghan Mortz-Kent @himegan**

<3

* * *

  
  


**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

um

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Hello?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone, remember to wash ur hands for twenty seconds and stay safe. To anyone who reads my other story, Blue Jacket, I have chapter 8 written, but it's only 700 words and I want to make it longer and revise it, so please be patient. <3


	16. so you're back, from the dead

**Wheat @thins**

So are we all just gonna ignore that someone just tweeted from Kid Flash’s account

**Wheat @thins**

Yah know

**Wheat @thins**

THE OG KID FLASHES ACCOUNT

**Wheat @thins**

Like new KF said that he wouldn’t use his account so like???

**Wheat @thins**

IS HE NOT MISSING IN ACTION ANYMORE?!?!?!?!

**Wheat @thins**

NIGHTWING WE WANT ANSWERS

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

So like Nightwing wanna like idk maybe tell US WHAt the HECK IS GOING ONNN

**Potato @head**

YOOOO

**Potato @head**

I THINK KF AIN’t DED NO MOREEE   
  


**Trending:**

**#supermartian**

**#KFconspiracy**

**#KIDFLASHAINTDED**

* * *

  
  


**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

The world is going through shock after seeing a tweet of the “MIA” superhero Kid Flash. Read more  here.

**G. Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Was Kid Flash ever dead or was it just a big hoax. Find out more on the G. Gordon Godfrey show.

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Hey Godfrey

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

F off

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Never thought i’d say this… but i agree with Nightwing

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

KINDLY F*CK OFF YOU PEACE OF SHIT

**Peter @piper**

So like 1. F off Gordon

**Peter @piper**

2\. What do you mean “never thought i’d say this” I thought you two were married ;)

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ahhh yes

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Indeed we WERE

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

We got a divorce.

**Peter @piper**

Who got custody of robin

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Robin who got custody?

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Nightwing got custody cuz he doesn’t kill but I sneak out to say hi

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Aww rats

**Peter @piper**

lmao

* * *

PM:

**Fast Guy:** DICK IM PANICKING HELP ME

***cackles*:** how do I know it’s you…

**Fast Guy:** idk, but I’m in a batburger

**Fast Guy:** I’m actually right outside your apartment…

***cackles*:** hold on I’m coming to get you

* * *

**Wheat @thins**

Guys, I know that things are going crazy rn (1/?)

**Wheat @thins**

But to lighten the mood I’ve decided to just say a few things that have happened in Gotham recently (2/?)

**Wheat @thins**

Which is not a sentence I thought I’d ever say… (3/?)

**Wheat @thins**

The riddler was robbing a bank and Red Hood shows up. (4/?)

**Wheat @thins**

The riddlers about to ask a riddle but Hood interrupts him (5/?)

**Wheat @thins**

The rest of the convo goes like this (6/?)

**Wheat @thins**

Hood: what is considered a punishment as a child, but a gift as an adult

Riddler: *about to answer*

Hood: death

Riddler: that not right

Hood: *shoots him* (7/?)

**Wheat @thins**

Then Batman showed up and saved riddler (8/9)

**Wheat @thins**

My point is basically Red Hood is gen z and you can’t change my mind (9/9)

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Guys we’ve been over this i'm an imortallll

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

How many time to I have to tell you

**Wheat @thins**

Oh yeah…

**Wheat @thins**

WAIT 

**Wheat @thins**

YO RED HOOD I GOT A QUESTION PLS DON’T KILL ME

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Yee

**Wheat @thins**

So like Batman hasn’t screamed at you since your fight

**Wheat @thins**

What happened???

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I ripped out his vocal cords so he couldn’t talk to me

**Wheat @thins**

I-

**Wheat @thins**

Yeah ok sure

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

:)

  
  


* * *

**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

Did Red Hood rip out Batman’s vocal cords? Read  here for more.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Uhhhh

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Well this is awkward

* * *

  
  
  


**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

In honor of og Kid Flash possibly coming back I would like to bring back these gems.

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

*video begins with Robin doing a peace sign. KF runs up to Miss M. “OMG MISS M IS THAT THE WEED!!!” “It’s gushers…” “IM CALLING THE POLICE!!” This time Superboy responds, “KF… thats a microwave…” video ends with Robin cackling and KF grinning*

**What are @those**

Imma just give us a throwback to these tweets…

  
  


**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Robin and I are literal idiots but at least we like John Mulaney

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

IF ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING BAD ABOUT JOHN MULANEY THERE WILL BE A FIGHT

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Anyways…

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

We put together John Mulaney quotes as people from the team…. 

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Its great….

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Aqualad: “and I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing”

Robin: “And I was like “thanks, I’m nine”

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

KF: “sometimes, people would say “what do you think you’re doing?... They didn’t actually wanna know my thought process”

Superboy: “You know how I’m filled with rage?”

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Miss M: “Hey you could pour soup in my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you”

Artemis: “Your opinion doesn’t matter in elementary school either”

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

We will now be going into hiding to avoid being murdered.

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Adios y’alll

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

He best be alive again

**What are @those**

I hope he is.


	17. me me's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> memes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this I was super busy so there is literally no plot.

**Yeeter @skeet**

Is no one going to talk about how there’s an EZ pass stuck to the front of the batmobile… No? Ok…

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

IM SORRY WHAT

**Yeeter @skeet**

Zeh Jersey lifestyle

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

IM WHEEZING

* * *

  
  


**Potato @head**

Me: know Gotham is crazy af

Also me: gets kidnapped by clown. Surprised pikachu face

**Metropolis Shtuff @wegotsuperman**

IM SORRY WHAT   
  


**Potato @head**

Yeah

**Potato @head**

You’d really think I’d get used to it by now lmao

**Metropolis Shtuff @wegotsuperman**

WHY WOULD YOU GET USED TO GETTING KIDNAPPED BY A CLOWN!?!?!?

**Peter @piper**

Its relatively normal in Gotham ngl

**Peter @piper**

Well kinda, a lot of the time u just die after getting kidnapped…

**Peter @piper**

Real talk though Potato, Im glad ur not ded <3

**Potato @head**

Thanks bro <3

**Metropolis Shtuff @wegotsuperman**

Gotham is so f-ing weird

**Potato @head**

Lmao

* * *

  
  
  


**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

I should follow Nightwing and Dick Grayson’s lead and just skeet to Bludhaven to get away from Gotham.

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

YES U SHOULD   
  


**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

We are better :)

**What are @those**

FIGHT ME ME

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

ID WIN. WE GOT NIGHTWING

**What are @those**

WE HAD HIM WHEN HE WAS A MERE ROBIN   
  


**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

WELL WE HAVE HIM NOW   
  


**Metropolis Shtuff @wegotsuperman**

*crawls into a corner*

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

Can we both agree tho that Metropolis is highkey wimpy

**What are @those**

100%

**Metropolis Shtuff @wegotsuperman**

HEY

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

We’re not wrong

* * *

  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

Since so many people have asked why I stay in Gotham instead of moving to a safer city.

**Standom @hashbrown**

Its because I want to get superpowers from the green ass water.

**Standom @hashbrown**

Def not cuz there’s so much poverty that I literally wouldn’t be able to move. That would be crazyyyy.

**Yeeter @skeet**

The systems broken

**Standom @hashbrown**

Indeed it it

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

Are we just gonna ignore the whole green water thing?

**Yeeter @skeet**

Yup

**Standom @hashbrown**

Yeah

**Standom @hashbrown**

I mean that’s what the gov has been doing

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

Ok then… ALSO YES CALL THE GOV OUT!!!

* * *

  
  


**Peter @piper**

I’m surprised war hasn’t broken out between Gotham and Bludhaven yet. We don’t want to share Nightwing with u guys. We have it worse.

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

You also have a whole team of superheros. Nightwing is superior.

**Peter @piper**

Fight me

* * *

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

Hey guys. Remember that time Riddler kidnapped Jason Todd and when asked a riddle Jason straight up took out his phone and its not like he googled it. He asked siri while staring right into the Riddlers face. What a mad lad.

* * *

**Metropolis Shtuff @wegotsuperman**

I one hundred percent believe that if the area 51 raid happened now The Rogues and Vigilantes everywhere would show up

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Oh definitely

* * *

  
  


**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Gotham: has abandoned buildings

  
Rogues: its free real estate

**What are @those**

Did

**What are @those**

DID ROBIN JUST MEME   
  


**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

IVE DONE THE ME ME

**Static @electricity✓**

OMG GUYS HES DONE THE ME ME   
  


**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

Why is robin running around screaming meme but pronounced me me?

**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

Oh

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

OMG ROBIN DID THE ME ME   
  


**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

*SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

Hey justice league… this is why we like the kids more than y’all

**Flash @fastredblurr ✓**

I mean ur not wrong… but hey!

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

RIP

* * *

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

When someone yells at you to get on the ground in you're 8th hostage situation today.

No no i dont think I will

**What are @those**

One r u ok

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

yee im good

**What are @those**

Ok, two, i thought bruce found this account

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

I have my ways ;)

* * *

  
  


**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

A literal conversation I had with my friends today.

Me: Hey guys. Ya know that wayne kid with Black hair and blue eyes?

Friend 1: Dick Grayson

Friend 2: No hes talking about Tim Drake

Me: I’m talking about Jason Todd, you uncultured swines.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Jason Todd hits different.

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

So like ignoring the fact that red hood replied…

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Lmao

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

Can someone explain to me how y’all tell the Wayne’s apart?

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Well, Personally

Dick G: the circus dude

Tim D: the rich rich one

Jason T: The ded one

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

I-

**Peter @piper**

Dick: the hot one

Tim: the short one

Jason: the one who gave 0 f-cks

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Well for actually seeing them and not when u forget their names,

Dick: Dazzling, nice, observant

Tim: looks like he needs coffee,

Jason: … well u wouldn’t exactly see him so…

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

F

  
  
  



	18. we ship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's a bit gay

**Chapter 18:**

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

That ako taco moment when everyone thinks you're dead so then ur not ded and come back to life and everyone’s like bruh

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

So then u get out ur phone to live tweet the situation

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Lmao

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

mood

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Yoooo

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

My guy

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Tell us whats up

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Ur alive

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Im so happy

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

I love yououuuu

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Lmao I'm glad to be back!!

* * *

  
  


**Potato @head**

Was anyone going to tell me that Nightwing was gay or was I just supposed to find that out on my roof

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Ooop

**Potato @head**

I left

**Potato @head**

You guys can… carry on

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Lmao

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

I love scarring random civilians

**Yeeter @skeet**

Wait what

**Yeeter @skeet**

GUYS HES ONE OF US

**Yeeter @skeet**

ONE OF US ONE OF US

**Peter @piper**

YEEEAH BI*****

**Yeeter @skeet**

Wait but Potato head, what did you see???

**Potato @head**

Idk if im allowed to say this so I’ll dm u

**Yeeter @skeet**

ok

**Yeeter @skeet**

WHATTT

**Yeeter @skeet**

I SHIPPP   
  


**Yeeter @skeet**

OMG I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING   
  


**Yeeter @skeet**

EEEKKKKKK   
  
**Yeeter @skeet**

YEESSSSSSSSSSSSS

**Potato @head**

Lmao ikr

* * *

  
  


**Impulse @imfast✓**

GUYS I’VE GOTTEN PERMISSION TO MAKE IT INTO A TIK TOK

**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

MAKE WHAT INTO A TIK TOK

**Impulse @imfast✓**

THIS 

*VIDEO, soft music plays in the background and a montage of Kid Flash (og) and Nightwing kissing and holding hands play.*

**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

AWWWWW

**Impulse @imfast✓**

IKRRRR

**Impulse @imfast✓**

I wish I had that

**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

Sameeeee

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

I stg everyone is an idiot

**Artemis @betterthanred ✓**

I feel that

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

Lmao

* * *

  
  


**What are @those**

So is it just me or does a lot of shit hit differently now with og KF and og Robin

**Wheat @thins**

YES   
  


* * *

  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

Gotta say I didn’t really see that coming…

**Standom @hashbrown**

I mean like I kinda did… but not entirely

**Peter @piper**

They fooled the master

**Standom @hashbrown**

Indeed

* * *

  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

Dont wanna be that guy but I highkey think that Bruce Wayne is either Batman or is dating batman

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Explain

**Standom @hashbrown**

HOLY SHIT GUYS   
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

THATS DICK GRAYSON

**Potato @head**

Have fun with that lmao

**Standom @hashbrown**

HOLY SHIT

  
  
**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Im confusion. Is Bruce secretly dating someone????

**Standom @hashbrown**

Well I mean like.

**Standom @hashbrown**

HOLy shitttt

**Standom @hashbrown**

Ok deep breaths. I got this guys

**Standom @hashbrown**

So like, ok hold on

**Standom @hashbrown**

Imma DM u the info.

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Ok

**Potato @head**

Aww why don’t we get the tea

**Standom @hashbrown**

Cuz then Batman would murder me for exposing his lover.

**DM:** **  
  
**

**Standom and Dick Grayson**

Standom: HI ok so ahhh

Standom: sorry. 

Standom: Dating theory: Bruce is never in public when Batman is therefore stating that Batman knows when dangerous stuff happens and pulls bruce out. Also all the adopted kids kinda line up with the robins-ish. So like basically… oh wait. SHit. ummm..

Standom: so like basically y’all are the robins and Bruce Wayne and Batman are just like sharing the kids? Or maybe it’s like a Brady Bunch type shit.

Standom: They're the same theory: The ass matches

Dick Grayson: THE ASS MATCHES

Standom: YES

  
  
Dick Grayson: AHHAHAHHAHAHA

Dick Grayson: HOld on Imma just print out a bunch of picks of batman and tape them around the manor. This is fu---- gold!

Standom: lmaoooo

Dick Grayson: Well ur definitely not right, I Think…. Maybe its a brady bunch type situation, but in that case I’d be rlly sad with my skills as a detective.

Standom: rip

Dick Grayson: indeed

* * *

  
  


**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

*Picture of batman with a heart around it on a door in the manor.* 

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

This will be the first thing Bruce sees when he wakes up.

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Guys he’s gonna be so mad lmao

* * *

  
  


**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Richard John Grayson

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

OH shit

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

We got the full name bois

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

What the actual f---

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Honestly though, it is mildly funny

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

YESSSSSS

**Standom @hashbrown**

HAHAHHAHA

* * *

  
  


**Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

On the brightside now we know that Batman doesn’t fu- bats

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

RT

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

RT

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

RT

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

RT   
  


**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

I am not dating Bruce Wayne nor am I engaging in… activities with bats.

**What are @those**

ACTIVITIES!!! IM WHEEZING

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys are almost caught up with ff.net!!!


	19. gay gang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's pretty gay

Chapter 19:

  
  
  


**Impulse @imfast✓**

Ah

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Ahhh

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Helppppp

**Wheat @thins**

Whats wrong??

**Impulse @imfast✓**

I’m too gayyy

**Wheat @thins**

Lmao what

**Impulse @imfast✓**

I am crashing and burning. 

**Wheat @thins**

YOOO WHATS HAPPENING?!?!??!

**Impulse @imfast✓**

I la;sdkjfa;lskdjf;laksdjf;asldkf

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

You know you're gay when you do the keyboard smash

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

Honestly this is so fun to watch

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

Wait what’s happening

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

Impulse is falling in love

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Ahhhhhh

**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

With who?

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

Hm what

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

Idk what you're talking about

**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

You literally just tweeted it…

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

Hmm

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

You're mistaken, I’ve been sleeping, I’ve got more sleep to do BYE!

**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

Huh

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

So impulse likes El Dorado…

**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

Wait what

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

I didn’t say anything

**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

I am so confused rn

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

SAME (heheh)

**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

You know I can see that right

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

Idk what ur talking abt

**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

I give up

**Wheat @thins**

Well that was entertaining

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

If my name is robin does that mean I can jump off a building and fly

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Yes

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

NO ABSOLUTELY NOT

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT   
  


**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

DO NOT JUMP OUT A WINDOW

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

:(

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Smh stop crushing his dreams, fly lil birdie, fly

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

I mean, on one hand I want to

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

On the other, you have tried to kill me multiple times

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

So?

**Potato @head**

I’m confused what is even the relationship between the bats and Red Hood???

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

* * *

  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

CHILDREN STOP SPAMMIN ME IS WEAR OMG A;LKSDFLAKFS

**Standom @hashbrown**

LIKE GUYSYSSSS

**Standom @hashbrown**

Ok y’all i get it I’m the “queen of conspiracy” or whatever,

**Standom @hashbrown**

That doesn’t mean I know everything ok

**Standom @hashbrown**

I mean like yes, after the many tweets from people I decided to investigate

**Standom @hashbrown**

Does that mean I found shit

**Standom @hashbrown**

No

**Standom @hashbrown**

Did I?

**Standom @hashbrown**

Yes, duh

**Peter @piper**

OH MIGHTY QUEEN GRANT US UR KNOWLEDGE

**Standom @hashbrown**

Basically y’all know that theory where Robin is the same as Red Hood? 

**Standom @hashbrown**

Yeah, so thats not true

**Standom @hashbrown**

So now that the bats r gone

**Standom @hashbrown**

Yeah robin II is same as Red Hood and basically Batman is pissed that RH is all like Blam blam and the RH is like idgaf, and then they all found out that day, y’all know the day I’m talking bout, twitter blew up. 

**Standom @hashbrown**

So then Batman is all like Fu-- and RH is all like Fu-- U

**Standom @hashbrown**

So basically Batman is all like I don’t wanna go there and Nightwing (Robin I) is all like omg child! And Robin III is all like idk how to feel bout this, and then Batgirl II is all like *hugs*

**Peter @piper**

Damn… 

**Peter @piper**

That family is messed up

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ikr

**Peter @piper**

So ignoring the fact that Red Hood just responded to me…

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Aww

**Peter @piper**

Why is Batgirl II all like *hugs*

**Standom @hashbrown**

*image of batgirl hugging Red Hood*

**Peter @piper**

Dangggg

**Peter @piper**

We stan healthy sibling relationships

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Do you guys think they’re all related to each other?

**Standom @hashbrown**

Idk, but maybe? I mean the Robins all look the same, but Batgirl just gives off a different vibe.

* * *

  
  


**DM: Standom and Dick Grayson**

**Dick Grayson:** you know saying all that stuff on twitter is potentially dangerous right?

**Standom:** meh, I mean it’s all theories, plus no one knows who I am

**Dick Grayson:** the bats probably could

**Standom:** meh, they don’t kill, plus Red Hood seems friendly so like…

**Dick Grayson:** Just be careful

**Standom:** ok… but if it makes u feel any better, I’m not gonna go and tweet that none of the robins are related to each other and they’re all just random kids ;)

**Dick Grayson:** …

**Standom:** I’m joking

**Dick Grayson:** hahhaha. Trust me, I couldn’t go out at night parading around and then get back in time to be a police officer.

**Dick Grayson:** plus i'm already a police officer, I already help ppl

**Standom:** true true


	20. bat fam?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the batfamily begins to form... kinda... also harley quinn is a queen

**Green Arrow @aimforthesky ✓**

That moment when Batman takes a personal day to deal with family stuff and then next thing you know Red Hood is chilling in ur living room

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Fight me

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

lmao

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Also y did u have to tweet that, now batman knows where he is smh

**Green Arrow @aimforthesky ✓**

Oops :)

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Bi*ch

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I look like I’m fresh off the runway

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Ah

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Hey lets go escape the country

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Lit idea bro

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Huh

* * *

**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

So like what if I killed the joker?

**Poison Ivy @savetheearth**

I’d support u

**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

Awwwww, thanks Ives

**Joker @thefunniestmaningotham**

Harley, baby, don’t be like that

**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

You're an abusive and psychotic murderer

**Joker @thefunniestmaningotham**

And you're just a girl trying to be independent, how that been working out for ya

**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

Amazingly

**Joker @thefunniestmaningotham**

C’mon Harley

**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

That’s Dr. Quinn to you asshole

**Poison Ivy @savetheearth**

YES

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

So like, do all the Gotham Rogues have a twitter or…

**Peter @piper**

Lex Luthor literally runs a whole ass business so like...

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

Yeah true

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

Also, do y’all like Harley, sorry DR. Harley, cuz like she seems like a queen, but isn’t she like a villain

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Oh no we like Harley

**Peter @piper**

Yeah, she’s actually really nice, she just tends to like… kill ppl sometimes, plus she beats the Joker up so like YAY

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Gotham has collectively just agreed to stan Dr. Harley Quinn ngl. Like she’s kinda a badass

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

Huh… What about Ivy?

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

Isn’t she like an ecoterrorist or something

**Poison Ivy @savetheearth**

HOW DOES CARING ABOUT THE PLANTS MAKE ME AN ECOTERRORIST

**Poison Ivy @savetheearth**

Also I would just like to say, THERE IS A RECYCLING BIN FOR A REASON U SHITHEADS!!!

**Potato @head**

I once saw Poison Ivy almost kill someone who littered…. 

**Potato @head**

And for all the non gotham ppls, basically Gotham isn’t THAT dirty bc if you litter here you'll get attacked and threatened by Poison Ivy.

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

Wow…

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

Poison Ivy rlly be out here helping the plants huh

**Potato @head**

Yup

* * *

  
  


**Impulse @imfast✓**

No one:

Absolutely no one:

Wonder Girl: *doing push-ups with literally everyone on her back

**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

When I carry the entire team on by shoulders

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

I-

  
  


* * *

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

That moment when Blue Beetle challenges Impulse to race him down the stairs so Impulse jumps out a three story window

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

How was I supposed to know he was such an idiot??   
  


**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

Dude…

**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

It’s IMPULSE   
  


**El Dorado @Eduardodoradojr.✓**

ITS LITERALLY IN HIS NAME   
  


**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

… IMPULSE HAS NO IMPULSE CONTROL

**Impulse @imfast✓**

EVERYONE HERE SUCKS

**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

lmao

* * *

  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

Oh no

**Standom @hashbrown**

Oh mother of a;lksdjf;lakjs

**Standom @hashbrown**

Guys im big ded

**Standom @hashbrown**

Wish me luck

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Bro u good

**Peter @piper**

Stan? U there??

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Queen of conspiracies?   
  


* * *

  
  


**GCPD @officialgcpd✓**

Citizens of Gotham there has been a new rogue, named clue master. Stay safe.

**Peter @piper**

Time to get out the pepper spray, gas mask, baseball bat, and seventeen different padlocks.

**Metropolis Shtuff @wegotsuperman**

R people in Gotham even ok?

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

No

* * *

  
  
  



	21. Spoiler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think the chapter title says it all.

Chapter 21:

**Yeeter @skeet**

Hey 

**Yeeter @skeet**

Hey batman

**Yeeter @skeet**

What the fu**

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

What happened this time

**Yeeter @skeet**

HOLY SHIT LIKE AHHHH

**Yeeter @skeet**

Bro look at this 

**Yeeter @skeet**

*video of robin, but robin has a blonde ponytail and is beating the shit out of Cluemaster*

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

Ummm

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

What is even up with gotham, like tf

**Yeeter @skeet**

Ikr

* * *

  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

I hAvE jUsT bEeN sTaBbEd YaYYYYY

**Yeeter @skeet**

Stan no

**Standom @hashbrown**

Stan YES

* * *

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

New robin is ten times cooler ngl

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Rude

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Its facts tho

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

Gotta agree with that ngl

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ily

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

Ily2

**Batgirl @thebestbat✓**

Ily3

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Awww its the one person who I wouldn’t stab

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

YOU WOULD STAB ME   
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Yes.

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

Yeah ok, thats valid

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

It's understandable, I’d probably stab myself

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Mood

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

No stabbing

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

LOOK WHO DECIDED TO SHOW UP

**Standom @hashbrown**

Will he finally respond??? Or will he ignore the red hood… again

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

No stabbing, maiming, or dying

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Hehehe

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Dying

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ive never done that b4

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

HOOOD NO   
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

HOOD YES   
  


**Agent A @imakesurevigilanteesdontdie**

I’d advise against any dying.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

When tf did u get a twitter

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Yeah when did this happen…

  
  


* * *

**DM: Standom and Dick Grayson**

**Standom:** You know what is a lot funnier now

**Dick Grayson:** …

**Standom:** hehehehhe

**Dick Grayson:** I literally can’t believe any of this shit

**Standom:** I’m telling Red that Golden Boy CuRsEd

**Dick Grayson:** Steph no

**Standom:** ;)

* * *

  
  


**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

Which member of the batfam are you? Click  here to find out.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Why tf am I on this list

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Im not a member of the BaTfAm, take me off the f*cking quiz. I stg

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I have gunnnssss

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Awww

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Even buzzfeed acknowledges ur part of the family. 

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Also 10/10 quiz, I got myself, although I don’t see why the description is “you're nightwing, you're if robin were to grow up and somehow become even MORE cuddly, you are loyal and will risk getting stabbed by your own family members just to give them a hug.”

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

I’m going more for like a smexy look, not cuddly. I mean cuddlys great and all but like the ass???

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Don’t worry babe ur ass is fine

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

:)

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

ONE EW.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

TWO why tf is my description “You try to be a rebel but you're really just a soft bean who likes books. You're the dad of the friend group and you often threaten with violence when you get defensive.” 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Like tf, I am a rebel, also what do you mean I’m the dad of the friend group?!?!?   
  


**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

You and bizarro

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I-

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Yeah ok, no that makes sense

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Ummm

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

So I kinda got ROBIN I… I cri

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Like guys ur description for all the robins are like the same, how am I supposed to even get myself.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Thats sad, robin II is cooler, guess ur just a loser

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

:,(

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Cry all u want

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Hey guys…

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Batmans description tho

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

“You are dark and edgy and emo. You dress up as a furry and night and the majority of the world still doubts that you exist.”   
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Like can I just go ahead and say, thank you to Buzzfeed, like i generally tend to hate y’all

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

But this

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

This is a piece of art if I’ve ever seen one. 

* * *

  
  
  


**Cassandra Cain @yaycas✓**

Hello

**What are @those**

Hello queen

**Potato @head**

May we do ur bidding

**CASSANDRA CAIN @westancass**

My liege

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

*bows*

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

Gothams obsession with Cassandra Cain is f*cking beautiful ngl.

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

We love her.

**Cassandra Cain @yaycas✓**

Everyone spam tim’s account with love.

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Got it bb.

**CASSANDRA CAIN @westancass**

On it.

  
  
  


* * *

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

CASSANDRA WHAT DID U DO

**Cassandra Cain @yaycas✓**

:)

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

NO DONT GIVE ME THAT FACE

**Cassandra Cain @yaycas✓**

:(

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

diD YOU Jusst sMAKe Cass CRYl TImm

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

KLDJFLKSJ

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

TIM APOLOGIZE   
  


**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Sorry…

**Cassandra Cain @yaycas✓**

:)

* * *

  
  


**Cassandra Cain @yaycas✓**

Spread the love to bruce my minions.

**What are @those**

On it.

**Wheat @thins**

We love u

**CASSANDRA CAIN @westancass**

SPAM BRUCE WITH LOVE

* * *

  
  


**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Thank you cass

**Cassandra Cain @yaycas✓**

:)

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Love you

**Cassandra Cain @yaycas✓**

<3

* * *

  
  


**CASSANDRA CAIN @westancass**

Ok but Cass’ and Bruce’s relationship is so pure.

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Ikr

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

I would like to join the Cassandra Cain cult…

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Right this way good sir.

* * *


	22. Damian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corona virus and Damian.... WOAH

Chapter 22:

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Is it bad that I only now have realized that the tp in “when you tp a house” stand for toilet paper??

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Yes

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

Oops

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

WAIT

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

HOW DO U KNOW ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT   
  


**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

F*CK   
  


**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

ABORT ABORT

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

RIP

**Tim Drake but different @donttellbruce**

AGGGGGG   
  


* * *

  
  


**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

*tik tok- text on screen, “Bruce Wayne meets an orphan” camera zoom’s to Dick’s face. The song goes, “I think you know where this about to go”

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

…

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

I can neither confirm nor deny this

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Lmao

* * *

  
  
  


**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

Who is the new kid in the Wayne Family? Click here to find out

**Wheat @thins**

Wait there’s another one?

**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Child spotted with Bruce Wayne. Has Mr. Wayne’s penchant for adoption spun out of control? Watch the G. Gordon Godfrey show for more.

* * *

  
  


**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Damian Wayne is my biological son, if anyone wants more information, they can watch the press conference in 30 minutes.

**Standom @hashbrown**

Tea

**What are @those**

Lmao yeah

* * *

  
  


**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

So will Damian Wayne be getting a twitter orrr??

**Peter @piper**

I doubt it, isn't the kid like 10 or something??

**Shazam Responded @thunderr**

Ahhh, true true

* * *

  
  


**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

This house is getting more crowded by the second

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

I mean… ur not wrong…

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Lmao

* * *

  
  


**What are @those**

Buzzfeed we need a new Wayne quiz

**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

On it

  
  


* * *

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Dami is my new best friend

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

He doesn’t like me calling him Dami, but he’s a bean so idc

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Oh no

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

OH NO

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

DAMI STOP

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

AHHHHHH

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

I do not like this child

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

He is a f*cking deapskjdfl;kafjas

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

f*ck

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Oh hell no

**Wheat @thins**

I am having very mixed feelings rn…

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Are they ok?   
  


**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Lmao

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

I’m never ok

**Yeeter @skeet**

Mood tho

* * *

  
  


**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

It’s Corona time

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Guy’s I’m being quarantined by Dick because I coughed once lol

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Little does he now I thrive on alone time

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Plus I know how to get him running here 

**Peter @piper**

How?

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

I’M SO LONELY OH SO LONELY

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

F*CK IT I’LL GO INTO QUARANTINE WITH U

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

See

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Oh no, wait Dick pls leave

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

NOOOOO

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

AAHHHHh

  
  


* * *

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Can I get Corona if my immune system is super good because I’m a speedster

**Flash @fastredblurr ✓**

Impulse no

**Impulse @imfast✓**

:(

  
  


* * *

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

I died and I come back to all this shit

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Like yo

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Australia was on fire

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

And there was a random virus and everyone was like it’s fine and now no one is allowed to go outside

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

GUYS WHYYYY

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

Highkey the earth is dying and we’re all just chilling here

**Kid Flash @gottagofast ✓**

I’m having an existential crisis

**Flash Watch @weloveflash**

Same

* * *

  
  


**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

Corona sucks, but there is no one else I’d rather be quarantined with *picture of Kaldur with Wyynde (his boyfriend)*

**Weee @supermansuperstan**

Awwwwww

* * *

  
  


**Blue Beetle @Scarab✓**

Everyone is complaining about Corona and having to be stuck at home, but at least you guys don’t have to deal with these idiots. *Wonder Girl is talking to Robin when suddenly Impulse runs in. “SIX FEET APART IDIOTS,” Impulse pushes them apart and sticks 6 rulers taped together between them. Wonder Girl and Robin just stare at him. Wonder Girl glares, but Robin then starts laughing. The rest of the video is Robin and Impulse pushing various people apart.*

**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

I don’t think people actually understand how disappointed I am

**Impulse @imfast✓**

At least we know how to have fun

**Impulse @imfast✓**

BURNNN

**Impulse @imfast✓**

Anyways Im gonna start runnign so byyeeee

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Rip

  
  


* * *


	23. let's go lesbians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Hood is the Thor of DC. AKA the lesbian god.

Chapter 23:

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

I swear if I see one more person outside I’m going to throw myself off a building.

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

NO

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Guys stop going outside i stg there is a pandemic we don’t care if you're supervillains.

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Ur putting everyone at risk.

* * *

  
  


**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

I’m just gonna put this out there.

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

If you don’t live on coffee are you even living?

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Timmy no

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

F*ck

* * *

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I apologize to all the lesbians but due to corona virus our lesbian run must be cancelled

**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

:(

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

I’m sorry WHAT

**Poison Ivy @savetheearth**

*video of red hood running through Gotham screaming “lets go lesbian, lets go” with a horde of lesbians behind him*

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

I-

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Eye

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Not this again

  
  
  


* * *

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

*tik tok of Bruce with the sound “I think you know where this about to go” the words “bruce meets an orphan” appear on the screen and then Bruce mouths the “I think you know where this about to go” part.*

**What are @those**

Ahahhaha so he admits it

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

When I tell you I wheezed.

* * *

  
  


**The Narrows Person @crimealleyismyhome**

So r we all gonna sleep on Red Hood doing tik tok dances with Arsenal??

**The Narrows Person @crimealleyismyhome**

Cuz like this shits hilarious.

**The Narrows Person @crimealleyismyhome**

*link to Red Hood and Arsenal’s tik tok*

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I am legally a professional renegader.

**The Narrows Person @crimealleyismyhome**

Damn thats impressive

**The Narrows Person @crimealleyismyhome**

Hey Red Hood have you seen the tik tok where the “you are my dad, you're my dad booogie woogie” sound is edited on top of you and bizarro? 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

….

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Yeah

**The Narrows Person @crimealleyismyhome**

aHHAHHAHAAHA

* * *

  
  


**Standom @hashbrown**

Conspiracy theory time y’all

**Standom @hashbrown**

Cuz im bored

**Standom @hashbrown**

So like can I be the new buzzfeed unsolved

**Buzzed Unsolved @unsolved✓**

Hmmm

**Buzzed Unsolved @unsolved✓**

Well you are quit legendary

**Standom @hashbrown**

*gasp*

**Standom @hashbrown**

They actually responded holy shit

**Standom @hashbrown**

Ok but like Jason Todd

**Standom @hashbrown**

Tf happened to him

**DM:**

**Standom and Dick Grayson**

**Dick Grayson:** Steph wtf

**Standom:** trustt meee

**Standom:** It’ll be fineeee

**Dick Grayson:** STEPHANIE NO

**Standom:** I AM THE CONSPIRACY QUEEN YOU CAN’T STOP ME

* * *

  
  
  


**DM:**

**Red Hood and Standom**

**Red Hood:** huh

**Red Hood:** i like this new conspiracy

**Standom:** >:)

**Red Hood:** evil i like it

**Red Hood:** this is why you're my second favorite

**Standom:** second favorite?

**Red Hood:** Sorry but Cass exists

**Standom:** thats valid

* * *

  
  


**Buzzed Unsolved @unsolved✓**

What’s that supposed to mean

**Standom @hashbrown**

Idk man it just seems a bit sketchy to me

**Buzzed Unsolved @unsolved✓**

Hmmmm

**Buzzed Unsolved @unsolved✓**

Lets talk, we’re gonna make a video

**Standom @hashbrown**

HELL YEAH

* * *

  
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Hey guys just a reminder that if y’all see batman in crime alley you should stay away cuz the last orphan he took out of here ended up dead.

**Agent A @imakesurevigilanteesdontdie**

:I

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ah f*ck

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

OMG THE WEIRD AGENT A GUY WORKS ON RED HOOD TOO?!!?!??

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Hes an unstoppable immortale

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

Agent a is that true??

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

???

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

He only comes when needed

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

Hes so mysterious

**Fawcett City YEET @cityhuman**

I bet he’s like some celestial being or something

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I wouldn’t be surprised.

* * *

  
  


**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

A conversation I just overheard:

Nightwing: When I was your age-

Red Hood: When I was your height

Nightwing: surprised pikachu face

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

I stg I’m so scared of Red Hood but he’s such a savage

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

Like idk if I should run or if I should ask him to roast me

**Peter @piper**

Same

**Peter @piper**

Us in gotham have no idea what to even think

**Beast Boy @GarL✓**

Omg he just called me asparagus

**Peter @piper**

AHHHHH

* * *

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

So I’m in a batburger with red hood to pick up food and then he is just like I’m gonna do an immitation of batman

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

And he just… “I am darkness, I am the night. I am graceful and I adopt every kid in my sight.”

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

I cannot with this guyyyy

**Wheat @thins**

So we’re just ignoring that you casually went to batburger with him

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

Hey man, he stole batman’s credit card

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

Cant say no to free food

**Wheat @thins**

Batman has a credit car?!?!

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

Yeah it’s called the batcard

**Wheat @thins**

The BATcard?!??!

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

What did you expect? Batman, batmobile, batarang, batcard.

**Wheat @thins**

Ahhh true true

* * *

  
  


**DM:**

**Batman to Red Hood**

**Batman:** Hood

**Red Hood:** is this about your credit card?

**Red Hood:** because if so, well you shouldn’t have made it so easily accessible.

**Batman:** No, I just wanted to say that I like you're rhyme

**Red Hood:** huh

**Red Hood:** oh…

**Red Hood:** thanks i guess

  
  


* * *

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Send help cuz im ded

**A secret account @Jaytalley**

Agggg

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in a while y'all. I just got a dog and so I've been a tad bit busy. Anyways, I hope y'all enjoyed.


	24. red hood is kidnapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Hood is kidnapped. Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are responsible villains. Batman can't express emotions very well but hey, at least everyone hates Joker.

Chapter 24:

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Everyone Is panicking about quarantine and I’m just sitting here like “idgaf I’ve already died lmao”

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Like i’m obviously still social distancing I just don’t care 

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Batman says you have to come join us

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Wait what

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Omg batman finally getting his head out of his a** and being a dad!??!?!? Who’da thunk

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Oh hell no

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Guys he’s cornered me

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I did not agree with this

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Arsenal I need backup

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Hm hmmmm

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Nah I think you got this

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

OH MY GOSH NO 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

GUYS HE GOT ME 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

F*CK

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

I’M SO EXCITED FOR FORCED FAMILY TIME   
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Kill me now

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Not letting that happen again

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Tea

* * *

  
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Guys help

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

They’ve kidnapped me

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I think this is illegal

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Haven’t you murdered a bunch of people

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

And put their heads in a bag??

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

And now you're concerned about legality???

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

… i feel attacked

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

And yes

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

This is abuse

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Nightwing hugged me for ten minutes straight

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

The only sane one here is Black Bat

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Whose Black Bat?

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Batgirl number 2

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

Ohhh

**Black Bat @theniceone✓**

Hello

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Can you please save me from Nightwing

**Black Bat @theniceone✓**

He misses you, I don’t want to make him sad

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

AGGG

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

NOO WAIT NOW ROBINS HERE   
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I NEED HELP

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

OK SPOILER IS HERE ALSO

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

She’s not as bad

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

Aww thank you

**New Person @somebodyoncetoldme**

This is my only entertainment during quarantine

* * *

  
  


**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

Honestly can’t believe that some people are still making their henchmen work

**Poison Ivy @savetheearth**

Imagine not offering paid leave to henchmen during city lockdown

**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

Not to call anyone out or anything but Joker henchmen if y’all want to join me, you don’t have to work and you’ll get paid

**Joker @thefunniestmaningotham**

Harley Harley Harley, no one would do that.

**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

Tell that to the 20 henchman that just joined my crew

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

We stan a responsible villain

**Joker @thefunniestmaningotham**

I stg I’m going to kill them

**Joker @thefunniestmaningotham**

Oh no

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

That ako tako moment when batman find the Joker while he’s writing a tweet

**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

Aw nuts, does that mean I can’t go over and kill him

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Yo if you want to kill him I can totally cause a distraction

**Batman @thedarknight ✓**

No

**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

Even in his tweets he’s blunt. Smh

**Poison Ivy @savetheearth**

Welp we gotta run, can’t go to Arkham when there’s a global pandemic

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry y'all. I keep forgetting to post. I've just been very busy and you'd think with quarantine I'd be able to stay on top of thing but tbh, it just makes me mentally exhausted.


	25. robin 5.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightwing is missing in action??? Dick Grayson is gay??? There's a new robin??? What???

Chapter 25:

**What are @those**

Is it just me or is batman looking kinda different

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Idk about batman but robin is definitely a new person

**Yeeter @skeet**

Dang they’re running out of those guys real quick

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ikr, i mean like how many do they even have at this point

**What are @those**

Honestly at this point I’m not even surprised when Red Hood responds to my tweets

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Lmao

* * *

  
  
**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Is there a new robin? We’re used to seeing new guys pop up every so often, but now this robin is accompanied by a seemingly new batman. Is Gotham falling apart. Watch the G. Gordon Godfrey show tonight to find out.

* * *

  
  


**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

Suddenly I understand how all the past robin have felt

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Rip

**The Narrows Person @crimealleyismyhome**

Tea

* * *

  
  
  


**Yeeter @skeet**

Ok everyone, so after a week with this new, and mildly scary robin I have come to a conclusion.

**Yeeter @skeet**

If all of the Bat’s kids were powerpuff girls

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Oh no

**Yeeter @skeet**

Nightwing= sugar

Robin 5.0 = spice

Red Robin = everything nice

**Yeeter @skeet**

And no I did not forget about Red Hood.

**Yeeter @skeet**

RED HOOD = CHEMICAL X

**Yeeter @skeet**

BAM

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

….

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

You know what. I agree with this

* * *

  
  


**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

So like, not to rain on anyone’s parade about batman or anything, but nightwing is lowkey missing in action sooooo

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

Can someone come help usss 

**Peter @piper**

NIGHTWING’S MISSING

**Peter @piper**

Wait what if there actually is a new batman and old batman and nightwing were liked killed or something

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

OH HELL NO

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

NOPEEEE

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

Nightwing if you're out there, you best be alive

* * *

  
  
  


**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

I hate quarantine

**What are @those**

Same

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

All I wanna do is see my BF but I can’t and now I’m sad

**What are @those**

Wait what

**Yeeter @skeet**

….

**Peter @piper**

I-

**What are @those**

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Oop

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

That ako tako moment when u forgot that u weren’t out lmao

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Idk man I though it was obvious

**Yeeter @skeet**

Does this mean I have a chance 

**West of south @wallman**

No

**West of south @wallman**

He’s mine

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

I misss youuo

**West of south @wallman**

I misss you moreeeee

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

It’s funny because they’re on facetime rn

**What are @those**

This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


**Buzzed Unsolved @unsolved✓**

What happened to Batman and Nightwing? Watch as we find out.

**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

These keep me alive through quarintine

**What are @those**

I’m not even going to question that Red Robin likes watching Buzzfeed unsolved. 

* * *

**What are @those**

Hey is the corona virus in Atlantis?

**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

Nope

**What are @those**

Lucky ducklings

**Potato @head**

Lucky dolphins*

**What are @those**

That doesn’t even rhyme

**Peter @piper**

Lmao

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  



	26. we are family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason slips up

Chapter 26:   
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Which came first pet or pet

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Pet as in a pet dog and pet as in i pet my dog

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Like I need to know.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Seriously which came first

* * *

  
  


**What are @those**

Hey everyone

**What are @those**

Just wanted to say

**What are @those**

Look at this

**What are @those**

*Image of Red Hood, Black Bat, and Spoiler eating batburger on top of a roof*

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Damn

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

I feel left out

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

As you should

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Why wasn’t I invited

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Cuz I don’t like u plus u were busy

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

:(

**What are @those**

Um

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

What

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Oh

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

What

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

That ako tako moment when Nightwing gets pissy and everyone realizes that he actually isn’t dead

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

Lmao

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Ohhhhh

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

SO UR BACK FROM OUTERSPACE

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

See this is why I think It’s unfair to say I was the worst Robin

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

Nah that was obviously RR

**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

What!?   
  


**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

THE BETRAYAL

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

HAH

**Robin @therealbatsbird ✓**

Even Spoiler thinks ur the worst

**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

Thats only because she wants to annoy me 

**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

I stg

**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

Im gonna find u

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Spoiler do u feel threatened

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

Oh absolutely

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

HMMMM

**Agent A @imakesurevigilanteesdontdie**

No killing each other

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I swear he knows all

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

I’m honestly scared of him at this point

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Agent A is scarier than Batman

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Wait lets do a poll.

**Poll:**

**Who is scarier:**

**Agent A: 88%**

**Batman: 12%**

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Damn

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

I cant say I’m surprised

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

*tik tok of the screenshot of the poll with Nightwing saying “i’m not surprised”*

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Someone get nightwing off tik tok

* * *

  
  


**Peter @piper**

I have a question

**Peter @piper**

So you know how Nightwing was on the og Young Justice team

**Peter @piper**

And he was like a youngling and he probably had ppl who treated him like a younger sibling

**Peter @piper**

But now nightwing is the oldest of like 5 kids so???

**Peter @piper**

How does that work

**Standom @hashbrown**

I have trained you well my child

**Standom @hashbrown**

Go forth in your conspiracy journey

**Peter @piper**

Yes my queen

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

TIME OUT   
  


**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

ARSENAL GET UR BUT OVER HERE   
  


**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Yes

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Oh

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Welll… this is awkward

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

If my brother is ur little brother but then 

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

IM CONFUSED

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

OMG

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

HE JUST ADMITTED THAT WE’RE FAMILY

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Wait no

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Its too late now

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

f*ck

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

You can’t escape me!!!

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe... so I'm back... FROM OUTERSPACE


	27. the waynes and the batfam are memes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what a meme tbh

**What are @those**

NIGHTWING IS BACK I REPEAT NIGHTWING IS BACK   
  


**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

OH YEAH BUDDDYYYY

**Bludhaven is better @thangotham**

*Image of the whole batfam fighting together*

* * *

**Peter @piper**

That moment when I was walking through crime alley, ya know, cuz im an idiot…. And I overhear the most hilarious thing ever.

**Peter @piper**

Nightwing: The old you would never do that

Red Hood: Yeah? Well, I’m sorry, the old Jason can’t come to the phone right now.

Red Hood: Why?

Red Hood: Oh! Cause he’s DEAD!

Nightwing: THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN’T F*CKING LOVE YOU

**Peter @piper**

I stg they are literally just walking talking memes

**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

Ok but can someone actually get them to stop being idiots

**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

Like seriously they are actually so stupid

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Fight me

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

No fighting, we are a happy family :)

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ew

* * *

  
  


**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

I hate Red Hood

**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

I hate him with a passion

**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

I actually hate him so f*cking much.

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Ok, but what happened

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

He’s salty because Red Hood started referring to him as “restaurant”

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

What else was I supposed to do

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Everyone’s been telling me not to call him replacement

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Plus his name is literally Red Robin (yummmm)

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

IM WHEEZING

**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

I hate everyone

**Red Robin @robinbutredder✓**

Literally everyone

* * *

  
  


**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Fun Wayne Fact: We have a sign that says “days since last kidnapping”.....

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

It’s record was 49 days…

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Those were the best 49 days of my life

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

WHAT

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

I THOUGHT THAT WAS A RUMOUR

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

WTF   
  


**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

ARE YOU GUYS OK

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

HOW ARE Y’ALL EVEN ALIVE

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

WTF

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

We really do be getting kidnapped tho

**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Is Bruce Wayne a neglectful parent? According to Dick Grayson the Wayne’s are constantly being kidnapped. Watch the G. Gordon Godfrey Show to find out more.

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

I love how Godfrey legitimately thinks that he’s not being an idiot by posting this shit. Like bruh, you're making a fool of yourself lmao

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

RIP

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

Notice how bruce didn’t swipe in to say that you can’t just diss someone… it’s cuz he agrees lmao

  
  


* * *

**Peter @piper**

Am I gay? 

**Peter @piper**

Yes

**Peter @piper**

Would I still date Zendaya

**Peter @piper**

100%

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Who wouldn’t date zendaya

**Wonder Girl @Wonderful✓**

I’d date Zendaya

**Bumblebee @Bzzz✓**

I’d date Zendaya

**Aqualad @ispeakfish ✓**

I’m gay, but I do believe I would date Zendaya.

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

This has the same energy that lesbians have towards John Mulaney.

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

John Mulaney is a lesbian icon… wait a minute

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Say it with me everyone “JOHN MULANEY IS A LESBIAN ICON”

  
  


* * *

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Fun Wayne Fact: There is a lock on the laundry room because Tim tried eating tide pods back when that was a thing

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Dude

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Don’t expose me like that

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

I mean… it’s true tho

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

AGGGGGHHHH

* * *

  
  


**Peter @piper**

Idk why I always overhear this shit but whatever

**Peter @piper**

I was in my apartment and I looked outside and I saw Red Hood and Batman speaking and I just…

**Peter @piper**

Red Hood: With all due respect… which is none

**Peter @piper**

I don’t even know what he said after because I fell back and started laughing

**Peter @piper**

Guys we all thought that Red Hood was some psychotic murderer but honestly I think he’s just Batman’s rebellious son or some shit like that. I cant even XD

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I-

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Eye*

**Arsenal @Bestarcher✓**

Was this not common knowledge

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

DUDE   
  


**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Well I mean, you are kinda just the rebellious son.

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

WTF   
  


**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

It’s ok tho cuz you're cooler than the others

**Black Bat @theniceone✓**

Agreed

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

This is why I like you guys <3

**Black Bat @theniceone✓**

<3

**Spoiler @spoiltheplansyeeet✓**

<3

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Awwwww

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Shut up

* * *

  
  


**Yeeter @skeet**

Hey guys…

**Yeeter @skeet**

I think Jason Todd might not be dead…

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you have all officially been caught up with ff.net... anyways updates come quicker when there are more comments cuz inspiration. So yeah tell me what y'all would like to see.


	28. jason todd's alive... WHAT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently Jason Todd is not dead... Huh...

Chapter 28:

  
  


Previously ...

  
  


**Yeeter @skeet**

Hey guys…

**Yeeter @skeet**

I think Jason Todd might not be dead…

  
  


**What are @those**

Hi sorry what

**What are @those**

Are you saying that Jason Todd… the dead wayne kid… is in fact not? Dead?

**What are @those**

Hunny are you ok

**Yeeter @skeet**

Ok I know I sound crazy but hear me out….

**Yeeter @skeet**

Does anyone know who tf this is

**Yeeter @skeet**

*picture of Jason with Dick in a batburger*

**What are @those**

Probably just some guy?

**Yeeter @skeet**

That what I thought until I realized

**Yeeter @skeet**

*picture of Jason and Tim in a park*

*picture of Jason and Bruce with Bruce looking surprised*

*other random pictures of Jason*

**Yeeter @skeet**

So clearly this guy has some alignment with the wayne family so it got me thinking… who could this possibly be?

**What are @those**

Not? Jason? Todd?   
  


**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

Wait, @those, let them talk. I’m intrigued

**What are @those**

Fine

**Yeeter @skeet**

Now how can we possibly draw the connection between Jason Todd and who we’re gonna call MM(mystery man)

**Yeeter @skeet**

Jason Todd was constantly being criticized for being a street rat and being born in crime alley. High society critized him so much that they failed to notice something extremely important.

**Yeeter @skeet**

Jason Todd was actually smart and read books.

**Yeeter @skeet**

*

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

When Bruce hasn’t ever read Pride and Prejudice so you decide to force him to read it because he’s an uncultured swine

*

**Yeeter @skeet**

This isn’t even the only screenshot I have of Jason being smart.

**Yeeter @skeet**

Now the significance this has you may ask?

**Yeeter @skeet**

*image of MM reading Pride and Prejudice. The book has many post it notes.*   
  


**Yeeter @skeet**

Now lets say that this is stretching it....

**Yeeter @skeet**

*

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Just met my new brother ig

*image of Jason giving Dick the middle finger while holding a copy of pride and prejudice with many post it notes in it*

*

**Yeeter @skeet**

This picture was even before Jason Todd started going to school so clearly he had those post it notes of his own accord.

**Yeeter @skeet**

BAM MM IS JASON TODD

**What are @those**

I feel like thats not enough

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

As intriguing as this is you are saying that someone who has been dead for 5 years is now well… not dead

**What are @those**

Yeah also how is he alive, like didn’t he die while looking for his birth mom abroad or something

**Yeeter @skeet**

That is a good question…

**Yeeter @skeet**

Ummmm

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Maybe whoever had him got a fake body and faked his death while he ran away with severe brain trauma only remembering who he was later

**Yeeter @skeet**

YEAH!

**Yeeter @skeet**

WAIT A MINUTE   
  


**Yeeter @skeet**

WHAT THE F*CK   
  


**Yeeter @skeet**

WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Ahahaha guess who aint dead

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Jason you f*cking idiot

**Barbara Gordon @therealBGordon ✓**

Like you're helping

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

*eating popcorn*

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

*reaches over and takes popcorn*

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

*it’s my popcorn, runs away*

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

*it’s mine now, goes and shares with Steph*

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

I WIN TIM LOSES

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

HIGH FIVE JASON

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

I love it when Tim loses :))))))

**Yeeter @skeet**

WHAT THE F********CKKKKKKK

**What are @those**

I-

**What are @those**

I’m so sorry I doubted you

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

HOLY SHITTTTT

* * *

  
**Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Is Jason Todd actually alive? What happened to him? Did Wayne use his death as a publicity stunt? Find out tonight on the G. Gordon Godfrey show.

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Are you seriously implying I would use the death of my son as a publicity stunt.

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

F*ck you

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Damn

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Go off Bruce

**Oliver Queen @OfficialOQueen✓**

This is entertaining….

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

F*ck off Oliver

**Oliver Queen @OfficialOQueen✓**

Ouch

**Roy Harper @Queensucks✓**

lol

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

AYYYY you got a twitter

**Roy Harper @Queensucks✓**

INDEED I DID

**Roy Harper @Queensucks✓**

DO U LIKE MY USERNAME   
  


**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

WE STANNNNN

**Oliver Queen @OfficialOQueen✓**

Bruce come collect ur child

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Jason… Continue annoying Oliver

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

This is the only time I will every listen to you

**Yeeter @skeet**

*whispering* w h a t t h e f u c k

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brought to you by random burst of inspiration. Remember more comments means more inspirations means more updates.


	29. the wayne's are a meme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the waynes are memes and it's amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to put the quotes around this one because the ending is funny so yeah. (For anyone who didn't know the ff.net one has quotes around so it's like the characters are reading it)

Chapter 29:

**"Gordon Godfrey @officialGodfrey ✓**

Jason Todd has been legally reinstated as alive. Find out more on the G. Gordon Godfrey show.

**Buzzfeed News @BuzzfeedOfficial ✓**

Jason Tood is officially alive- but the question remains, Where was he the past few years?

* * *

  
  


**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

I’ve decided to do a Q&A

**Wheat @thins**

Where have you been the past few years

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Trapped inside a chuck e cheese

**Potato @head**

Did you actually die

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

On the inside? Yes

**What are @those**

What is your favorite pastime 

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Annoying Bruce

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

Whats your favorite color

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Black- like my soul (it’s actually red)

**Yeeter @skeet**

What are your thoughts on death?

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Death is a social construct

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

What do you look for in a woman

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Men

**CASSANDRA CAIN @westancass**

Are you gay

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Im a lesbian

**Dick Grayson @OfficialDGrayson ✓**

Are you high right now

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Higher than the empire state

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Jason get off twitter

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

Get off my back

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

OOOOO burnnnnnn

**What are @those**

Person: what do you look for in women

Jason: men

Me: ahh a fellow homosexual

**Wheat @thins**

mood

* * *

  
  


**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Honestly it’s great that Jason is legally alive now because it means I can live tweet this stupidity

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Jason, about to break a rule: Rules are made to be broken

Tim: they were made to be followed, nothing is made to be broken.

Jason: Uh, piñatas

Dick: Glow sticks.

Jason: Karate boards.

Dick: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.   
Jason: Rules.

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Oh no

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

F*ck

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Guys he did it, we’re so dead oh no.

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

:LKlkasdj;fklasjdf;lkasdjf;laskdjf

**Bruce Wayne @OfficialBWayne ✓**

Jason what the f*ck

**Jason Todd @FoffImJason ✓**

I have no regrets

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Bruce: This is by far the stupidest thing you have ever done

Jason: hey, remember that time I died

Bruce: ….

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Oh no I think he’s crying

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Ewwww feelings

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Ok im gonna leave now

**What are @those**

Awww but the chaos

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

No amount of chaos is worth going near this shit.

  
  
  


* * *

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Good news y’all

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

I just witnessed the most amazing conversation ever

**What are @those**

Omg what is it

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Dick: Tim, you know how to dance, right? I need a teacher.

Tim: of course

Dick: great there’s a fancy gala coming up I have to go to and-

Tim: oh you mean like waltzing, ballroom dancing? No you’ll have to talk to Cass

Dick: oh okay

Dick:

Dick: wait, what did you think I meant?

Tim: pole dancing

Dick: Okay I don’t know if I’m more shocked that you can pole dance or if I’m more insulted that you thought for once second that I couldn’t pole dance.

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

This is hilarious

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Although I gotta say I didn’t know Tim could pole dance

**What are @those**

Wait what abt Dick

**What are @those**

Did you know that Dick could pole dance

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

I feel like Dick pole dancing is kinda just given ngl.

* * *

  
  
  


**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Damian: *looking at Tim’s cup*

Damian: What kind of tea is this?

Tim: oh, it’s boiled Mountain Dew.

Damian: *stares at Tim*

Tim: Don’t snitch

Damian: GRAYSONNNN

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

I stg this is hilarious

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Is my suffering really this funny to you

**Stephanie Brown @stephB**

Yes.

**Tim Drake @officialTimD ✓**

Rude

**What are @those**

Lmao

  
  


* * *

  
  


**Wheat @thins**

Sometimes I’m thankful that I live in the more crime infested parts of Gotham

**I Love Dick Grayson @DickGstan**

Why?

**Wheat @thins**

I was walking back from the grocery store and I see Nightwing and he just screams “yeet” and a batarang is flying at a mugger

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

… I call them wing dings

**Wheat @thins**

…. Why

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

Ahhahahahhahahha

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

Shut up you're a criminal

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

That right I take free samples twice

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I love robbery and fraud

**Nightwing @thedarkbird✓**

…. Awwwwww

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

No. no awwww. Only grrrr

**Poison Ivy @savetheearth**

Awwwww

**Dr. Harley Quinn @jokersucks**

Awwww

**What are @those**

Red Hood is baby

**A potato flew @aroundmyroom**

awwww

**Red Hood @ihatebatman**

I hate everyone" Jason read.

Jason was extremely annoyed. Yes being alive again as Jason Todd was great. But Red Hood was not "baby." Hell he had once cut the heads off drug dealers and put them in a duffle bag. What about him screamed "baby." It was absolutely ridiculous and he would not stand for it.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl the comments on the last chapter were v helpful with me getting the inspo to write this so thank y'all.


End file.
